


Unspoken Truths

by BamItsTaeTae



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drama, For a while anyway, Gen, Heavy Angst, Murder Mystery, Mystery, OT12 - Freeform, killer, mostly OT9
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 04:31:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 39,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15380718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BamItsTaeTae/pseuds/BamItsTaeTae
Summary: When Kyungsoo is a junior in high school, his three best and only friends are murdered while they were alone at school together. Kyungsoo is framed for the murder and sent to prison for 7 years. But as the police are taking him away from the scene, he sees 8 people watching. He knows one of them did it.  After he is released, Kyungsoo sets off to uncover the unspoken truths hidden behind spoken lies.





	1. A Long-Forgotten Life

**Author's Note:**

> Hello ~  
> This is an imported story from Wattpad/Quotev of mine.  
> I hope you enjoy!

         The taxi slowed as they approached the line of apartment buildings. They were familiar to Kyungsoo, yet wholly strange and unknown. It felt dream-like to see them again. The taxi began to pull in.

"You can just let me out here," Kyungsoo said.

           The taxi pulled over and Kyungsoo stepped out onto the pavement. He pulled his bag out and watched the taxi pull away. He walked down the sidewalk, gazing numbly up at the tall buildings. The cold fall air stinging his lungs. People walked past him unaware of the anxiety beginning to build in him. Then that building finally came into view, apartment building 110, his childhood home. He stopped. Most other people would have felt a sense of nostalgia or peace, but this building only reminded Kyungsoo of all his lost potential. It reminded him of the normal life he had once owned. It was painfully normal, but it was his. Now, he had nothing. Kyungsoo forced his legs to begin moving again. He walked around to the entrance, keeping his eyes from wandering over to the left. He couldn't handle seeing that building, not yet. He stepped inside.

            Everything smelled the same, looked the same, but it didn't feel the same. Kyungsoo climbed into an elevator. He clung to what little sanity he had left as it rattled it's way up to the twelfth floor. The doors opened on a scene so familiar it almost made Kyungsoo gasp. He walked down the hall, remembering every detail. And at last he stood in front of it, the home he had been kept from for seven unimaginably long years. He pulled the keys from his coat pocket, hands trembling. Slowly the door opened. Kyungsoo stared into the darkness of the empty rooms. He heard the sound of curious neighbors sticking their heads out to look at him. He knew it had been a long time since anyone had gone inside. No one wanted to live on the scene of a crime. Kyungsoo looked at them, and they stared at him, no doubt wondering if he was the boy they had heard of. He hated the way people looked at him. He looked away, entered, and shut the door behind him.

             The rooms were empty, all the furniture and belongings taken away by extended family or sold long ago. Kyungsoo's eyes drifted to the kitchen. That was the room he lost the last sliver of hope he had. That was the room in which the few people he had trusted were stolen from him. That was the room his Father killed his Mother and sister. He dropped his bag on the floor and drifted over to the small room. He slowly sunk to his knees and placed his hands on the cold tile. Had they been scared? Had his Father made it as quick and painless as possible? Kyungsoo's head slumped down onto the tile.

"Why didn't you wait for me?" His voice trembled.

              Kyungsoo's eyes closed. A memory filled his head. One of the millions of times he had stepped across that threshold. He had taken for granted his Mother's warm smile and pleasant greeting. He had ignored his sister's slightly uninterested yet none-the-less affectionate greeting as she typed away on her phone. He had turned to introduce his friends. And oh, how clearly he could remember their faces as they gave polite smiles and bowed to his family. His friends... his dear friends. Kyungsoo's eyes opened, ripping him away from the thought. Tears had slipped down his face and collected on the floor. Kyungsoo pulled himself up and stumbled out of the apartment. He closed and locked the door behind him, slumping up against the door to wipe away the tears and collect himself. He staggered down the hall. He had to get out of there.

           

             Kyungsoo found himself sitting on a bench in the little park next to the apartment building. The playful colors of its equipment calming to him. The memories it held all distant and faded. The only clear memory contained in its soil that of the little boy that Kyungsoo had once played with. But Kyungsoo and that little boy had gone their separate ways for reasons lost to time and the frailty of the human memory. Kyungsoo sighed and stood up, he needed to move. He took off walking, no place in mind. He roamed the busy streets of Geumgok-dong aimlessly, lost and alone. He thought of walking until he had left Buk-gu altogether, or even until leaving Busan itself. He even thought of running from Korea. He wanted to run so far away he never even had to think of his old life. But he couldn't do that, it would be pointless. He could never forget. Then he stopped, and looked up.

             There it was. He had wandered to his old high school. His stomach churned and his breath escaped him. The school day had just ended and a small wave of children were walking out of the school. They smiled and laughed, playful chatting. He wanted to tell them to treasure these moments, but he just stood and watched them go by. Then slowly, he approached the building. The same faded brick towered over him. He could still hear the gunshots, feel the adrenaline rushing through his veins, feel their blood soaking into his clothes, hear the screams of the police as they dragged him away, see the way they looked at him, like a monster. And most of all, he could remember those eight people standing in the parking lot, staring. Kyungsoo clenched his fist. He was getting side tracked. He had forgotten why he had come here. He was sure it was one of them. One of them stole his friends, his family, his last few years of childhood, his life. Kyungsoo turned and rushed back to the apartment. All thoughts of the past pushed aside for goals for the future.

              Kyungsoo set supplies down on the floor in one of the bedrooms and got to work building profiles. He pulled his old yearbook out of his bag and started flipping through the pages, cutting out pictures. He tried not to let their smiling faces get to him. He glued the first picture to a piece of paper and started writing.

 

**Kim Jongin:**

AGE: Currently 25, was 18 at the time of the murders.

LOCATION: Lived in apartment building 101, current location: ?

ALIBI:  ?

OTHER: I hated him and he hated me. 

 

**Park Chanyeol:**

AGE: Currently 24, was 17 at the time of the murders.

LOCATION: Lived in apartment building 111, current location: ?

ALIBI:  ?

OTHER: He was very popular in high school, everyone liked him.

 

**Byun Baekhyun:**

AGE: Currently 24, was 17 at the time of the murders.

LOCATION: Lived in apartment building 109, current location: ?

ALIBI:  ?

OTHER: The worst person I ever met, everyone loved him for it.

 

**Zhang Yixing:**

AGE: Currently 25, was 18 at the time of the murders.

LOCATION: Lived in apartment building 108, current location: ?

ALIBI:  ?

OTHER: School outcast, no one spoke to him.

 

**Kim Minseok:**

AGE: Currently 25, was 18 at the time of the murders.

LOCATION: Lived in apartment building 4, current location: ?

ALIBI:  ?

OTHER: There were rumors he was part of a gang, everyone was afraid of him.

 

**Kim Jongdae:**

AGE: Currently 25, was 18 at the time of the murders.

LOCATION: Lived in apartment building 203, current location: ?

ALIBI:  ?

OTHER: He didn't really like anyone but his brother, Sehun.

 

**Kim Sehun:**

AGE: Currently 23, was 16 at the time of the murders.

LOCATION: Lived in apartment building 203, current location: ?

ALIBI:  ?

OTHER: Unlike his brother, he was very social.

 

**Kim Junmyeon:**

AGE: ?

LOCATION: Lived in apartment building 203, current location: ?

ALIBI:  ?

OTHER: Principal of the school, father of Sehun and Jongdae.

 

              Kyungsoo continued constructing a profile of everything he knew thus far until late into the night. He didn't bother eating anything. He headed to a library to use their computers to see if he could find out more. He stayed up almost all night and kept working all the next day. But he knew it would be worth it. He had nothing to lose. He would work himself to death if it meant finding out the truth. He didn't even care if they were never arrested. But they wouldn't get away without some punishment, it didn't matter what it was. Kyungsoo finally reached a point where just researching and remembering wasn't enough. It was time to confront one of them.

               Kyungsoo would find out who had destroyed everything he loved. He would.


	2. Dreams of You

     Kyungsoo’s feet slammed against the pavement and he raced down the street. His heart pounded in his ear, overpowered only by the sound of him panting. He glanced at his watch. 6:52AM. He only had eight minutes until his train arrived. At last he reached the station. And in record time he was sitting in his seat, gasping for air. Kyungsoo leaned his head back. He had been staying up so late and getting up so early, his body finally rebelled. On the worst day possible, he slept right through his alarm and woke up in a panic.

     The train pulled out from the station. Kyungsoo closed his eyes. Maybe he should have been excited to be riding the train alone for the first time, he was finally an independent adult. But he loathed the feeling. How he longed for the days he had people to rely on. His mother never would have let him sleep through his alarm. His sister would have complained about “being forced” to ride with him. But she never would have let him ride alone. And his friends… Kyungsoo’s mind drifted back to his most familiar memories. The countless days he spent in that tiny classroom, after school hours, studying with his friends.

 

 

_“Ugh!” Yifan let out a long groan as he stretched._

_“Are you finished already?” Tao asked glancing up from his papers._

_“Not even close,” Yifan said._

_They both looked over at Kyungsoo, who was just turning over the fifth page._

_“How the-” Yifan started._

_“Okay,” Luhan said, looking up from his own half-finished pages. “I think we should take a break for a bit. Why don’t we go get some drinks from the vending machine?”_

_“Hm,” The three other boys looked at each other. Was it worth it?_

_“We don’t want to fall behind everyone else in the class,” Tao said._

_“What if I run and get the drinks so you guys can keep working?” Kyungsoo suggested._

_The other boys were slightly surprised by his sudden input. But they all smiled at his offer._

_“That’s perfect,” Luhan said, pulling some coins out of his bag and handing them to Kyungsoo._

_Tao and Yifan did the same. Kyungsoo didn’t bother asking what they wanted. He knew. He left the class room and rushed through the vacant halls. It was like a completely different place when all the students and teachers had left. Kyungsoo gazed out the windows into the court yard. It was completely bare. He couldn’t even see the stray student or two rushing across it to get to class in time, or a teacher strolling around on break. Kyungsoo smiled. It seemed to him that the whole world was completely empty. And his world really was empty, this school was his world. He got up early in the morning for the long school day only to stay after hours to study until late into the night just to keep up with his peers._

_Kyungsoo made it to the stairs and practically hopped down them. He was in a good mood today. His little world seemed so comfortable then. Kyungsoo found the vending machine and walked over to it. But his happiness faded as he read the piece of paper taped to the front._

_“Out of order,” Kyungsoo sighed. “Of course it is.”_

_Kyungsoo turned slowly, trying to think if there was another vending machine with those drinks. But as far as he knew, that was the only one. Kyungsoo trudged slowly up the stairs, dreading their disappointment._

_As he reached the third floor, a strange sound echoed down the halls. Kyungsoo stopped. He looked around for the source of the sound. What was it? He had never heard anything like it. Then it boomed out again. Kyungsoo froze. It was coming from the classroom his friends were in. He took off running down the hall. His world started spinning. He turned the corner and threw the door to the classroom open._

_Everything stopped._

_Tao was leaning back in his chair, limp, blood pouring from his head. Yifan was on the ground, one arm reaching for the door, his blood slowly inching towards the doorway as if it was still trying to escape. Luhan was lying under the table, face down. Kyungsoo couldn’t scream. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t begin to process the horror before him. His legs gave out and he fell to the ground, unable to rip his eyes away. Suddenly he heard a desperate gasp for air._

_“Luhan!” Kyungsoo cried._

_He forced himself up. He stumbled to Luhan’s side. Gently, he turned his friend over. The crimson blood soaked through Luhan’s shirt, onto Kyungsoo’s pants. Kyungsoo pressed down on the wound, his hands were trembling._

_“L-Luhan, what-” Kyungsoo couldn’t even finish._

_Luhan’s mouth was open, he desperately tried to breathe. His eyes drifted to meet Kyungsoo’s. Tears made tracks through the blood on his face._

_“Help me,” The words barely escaped his mouth before his eyes rolled back in his head._

_“N-no! No!” Kyungsoo screamed._

_Hysteria flooded over Kyungsoo. He needed help. Someone had to help. He had to find help. Kyungsoo struggled to his feet and staggered out of the room. Then he saw it. The gun. It lay on the floor, mere feet from the lives it had just ravaged. He was still nearby. Whoever did this was still here. Kyungsoo grabbed the gun and took off down the hall. He had to find someone. There had to be someone else here._

_Kyungsoo ran through the winding hallways, up and down flights of stairs in an instant. Someone. Anyone. He looked through every classroom, every bathroom, every storage closet. He thought he saw something. There had to be someone. He could’ve sworn he heard someone down this hallway. When he swung the principal’s door open and found it empty like all the other rooms, Kyungsoo was barely able to stand. He had to go back._

_Every moment blurred together as he ran back down the endless halls. He flung the classroom door open, praying that Luhan was still alive. His heart stopped. There was a… a… a pair of scissors sticking out of Luhan’s head._

_“No!” Kyungsoo fell on the ground next to him._

_Desperately he tried to pull them out. But his hands were shaking too much._

_“Please… no,”_

_The sound of the door slamming opened barely registered in Kyungsoo’s ears. He couldn’t even react to the police screaming at him to drop the gun. All he could do was stare at his friends. Someone pushed him to the ground and began to handcuff him. But all Kyungsoo could think was “I should’ve stayed.”_

_They dragged him from the room, practically limp, down the halls, and to the entrance. Then, as he stepped outside, he saw them. Seven students and his principal. They all stared at him as the police pulled him to the car. But even then, as he looked back at them, he knew he was there. The monster was right there. But they were all looking at him like he’d done it. The fear and loathing in their eyes pierced Kyungsoo’s soul._

_And for months those looks continued. No one had any compassion. There wasn’t a moment his guilt was doubted. No matter how hard he tried to explain, no one believed him. The investigation was all but non-existent. The trail was short. And then he was thrown into prison, no longer the people’s problem. All the people who had failed to help could have clear consciences with someone in jail. It didn’t matter who it was._

 

 

     Kyungsoo opened his eyes as the train came to a screeching halt. A little boy several seats over stared at him, wide eyed and confused. Kyungsoo realized he’d been crying. He wiped at his eyes and stood up. As he stepped off the train, he heard the boy’s mother gasp. There wasn’t a single person inside of Busan who hadn’t heard of the murders. Kyungsoo pulled the hood of his coat up. He wished they wouldn’t look at him.

 

       Kyungsoo stood in front of an unfamiliar home. This was it. This was the house that held the first suspect. Kyungsoo stepped forward and rang the doorbell.

“Hello?” A voice called from the monitor.

“Is this the home of Kim Jongin?” Kyungsoo asked.


	3. You Haven't Changed

“Yes, can I help you?” Jongin’s familiar voice had an unfamiliar air of uneasiness.

     Kyungsoo took a deep breath. His hands were trembling, so he shoved them into his coat pockets.

“I need to speak to you about the murders that happened at Geumgok High School seven years ago.” He said.

       There was a long silence and then the monitor clicked off. Kyungsoo only had to stand there for a moment before the door was pulled open. The two men looked at each other. All the endless bad memories they had together bubbling up to the surface. Jongin furrowed his brow. Kyungsoo broke their tense eye contact. He opened his mouth to speak. Jongin slammed the door closed. Kyungsoo flinched a little at the sudden loud noise, taking a moment to process it. He pulled his hands out of his pockets, cursing under his breath. Kyungsoo had never been a very aggressive person, but not talking to Jongin was not an option.

“Jongin, you have to talk with me,” He called out.

       The monitor clicked back on.

“I’m sorry, I have a class,” Jongin barely hid his irritation beneath a thin tone of being apologetic.

“No, you don’t,” Kyungsoo quickly countered. “I looked on your website, your next class isn’t for another two hours.”

         There was a slight pause before Jongin answered.

“Leave. Now,” All pretenses in his tone were gone.

“Jongin, you can’t seriously believe I did it,” Kyungsoo said, a hint of desperation being to creep into his voice.

“It doesn’t matter what I believe,” Jongin said. “It’s over. That all happened in the past. Leave now or I’m calling the police.”

      The threat froze Kyungsoo. But he pushed the sickening feeling growing in his stomach out of his mind to make one final effort.

“Maybe it’s in your past. But that day has been my reality for the past seven years. I can’t leave that moment. I can’t forget. Please, Jongin…” Kyungsoo begged.

“I will call the police,” There was no hesitation or conflict in his voice.

      Kyungsoo’s heart sank. He stepped off the step unable to muster any kind of response. As he walked down the road, he put his head in his hands. An immediate failure. He was angry. At Jongin or, more likely, himself. He ran his hand through his hair, wondering what to do. He raised his head and looked around him, suddenly realizing he didn’t know where he was. He didn’t have a phone or anyone to call. And the idea of asking someone for directions was none too appealing.

       Kyungsoo gazed around at the pointless street signs surrounding him and the nameless people walking past him. He wasn’t scared.  He was just trapped in the hollow feeling of another defeat. Then his eyes lingered on a street name that was meaningful. He knew that name. Where had he seen it? Kyungsoo pulled his notebook out of his pocket and flipped through the pages, at last landing on an address. A spark of hope fluttered in his heart.

         Kyungsoo jogged down the street and up to one of the many apartment buildings. And then slowly he approached the door. He stepped inside the first set of doors. Up and down the rows and rows of buttons and room numbers he searched. Finally finding the correct one, he reached out to press it. Kyungsoo paused for a moment, letting out the air he had been unconsciously holding. He was more confident in this person, but still, he had wanted to avoid going to them first. Kyungsoo pressed the button.

“Hello?” The voice that echoed out from the monitor was so familiar it sent chills down Kyungsoo’s spine.

“Chanyeol?” He asked.

There was a little gasp and then a pause. “Kyungsoo? Is that you?”

“Yeah. Look, I know it’s kind of weird for me to-” Kyungsoo was cut off by the click of the other end of the monitor turning off.

      Kyungsoo groaned. What was he expecting? Them to open up their houses after all these years? Just accept his word that he hadn’t done it, despite the fact he was sent to prison for it? Kyungsoo stood there for a minute, defeated, but the sound of the second set of doors unlocking nearly gave him a heart attack. Kyungsoo glanced around. There wasn’t anyone else coming in or out. Had Chanyeol really let him in? He didn’t wait for an answer. Kyungsoo quickly stepped inside.

       The lobby had a strange sour smell. The carpet was a gross shade of green with a tacky patter of red flowers dotting it. The pale-yellow walls stretched down the short hall way, completely barren of any decorations. A dead flower sat in the corner by the elevators. Killed either by lack of sunlight or over watering judging by the overabundance of watering cans placed around it. Three elevators sat on one side of the room and two on the other, serving only to add to the overall unpleasant atmosphere.

        Kyungsoo shuffled around on his feet, debating whether to go to Chanyeol’s apartment or wait for him there. Chanyeol had sounded neither particularly pleased to hear Kyungsoo’s voice, nor immediately unhappy. And seeing as no one else was around, Kyungsoo could only assume Chanyeol let him in. One of the elevators dinged and a tall, lanky man stepped out, a cheesy grin spreading across his face when he saw Kyungsoo.

“Kyungsoo!” He said, coming up to him. “Oh, man. You look exactly the same as you did in high school.”

     Kyungsoo couldn’t help smiling a little. It caught him off guard, and he quickly wiped it off his face. He shouldn’t be smiling.

“We need to talk, if you’re not busy,” Kyungsoo said.

“Oh, I’m definitely not busy,” Chanyeol laughed. “Why don’t you come up to my apartment?”

      Kyungsoo followed him into the elevator. Chanyeol babbled some nonsense about how Kyungsoo hadn’t changed at all as they road it. He was wrong. Still, it amused Kyungsoo how similar Chanyeol was to the boy he had known. Then again, he hadn’t really known Chanyeol in high school. He had only really known Chanyeol as a little boy, a little boy he could barely remember. Those faded playground memories pulled Kyungsoo completely away from what Chanyeol was saying. He only snapped out of them when the elevator doors opened. They walked over to one of the apartments, Chanyeol still talking away, seeming unaware of the fact Kyungsoo hadn’t made any input in several minutes.

       Chanyeol’s apartment smelled like cinnamon. Probably to mask whatever that mess that was in the kitchen was. The combination of the white walls and all the sunlight pouring in the windows made the room hard to look at. But, as his eyes adjusted, Kyungsoo could tell the room was in a state of orderly disorder. Each of the piles of random junk lying around the room probably had a purpose, just an unknown one.

       Chanyeol offered him a seat on the couch. They sat down next to each other, a noticeable amount of distance between them.

“It’s been so long! How have you been?” Chanyeol asked.

“I… uh... just got out of prison about a month ago.” Kyungsoo shifted around a little.

“Oh, right… stupid question.” Chanyeol got a much more serious expression, turning away a little.

        Silence. They both searched for words. Kyungsoo, unable to find anyway to segue into the reason he was there, decided to keep up the painful small talk.

 “H-how have you been?” Kyungsoo stammered.

“Alright. I started a band actually.” Chanyeol said, clearly relieved by the broken silence.

“Really? With who?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Some guys I met in college. We just started recently so we really haven’t picked a name or an image yet.” Chanyeol rambled a little before trailing off.

“Ah, I see.” Kyungsoo said.

         Another silence. Kyungsoo sighed a little, giving up on trying to find an easy way to transition.

“So, um, about the reason I came here,” Kyungsoo broke the silence again.

“Oh, yeah. What brings you here?” Chanyeol turned back towards Kyungsoo, clearly intrigued.

“Chanyeol… I didn’t do it.” Kyungsoo said slowly.

       Chanyeol opened his mouth slightly, clearly taken aback, his eyes shifted away slowly.

“I couldn’t kill them. They were my only friends.” Kyungsoo continued.

       Chanyeol grimaced a little, his cheerful expression long gone.

“You were there. Weren’t you?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Yeah.” Chanyeol continue to avoid eye contact with him.

“I need to know… I have to know who did it.” Kyungsoo said.

“Why? Do you want revenge?” Chanyeol looked up at last.

“I… don’t know,” Kyungsoo admitted. “I just need to know the truth. Whatever I do after that is irrelevant.”

         Chanyeol furrowed his brow, bothered by his answer.

“Do you believe me?”

         Chanyeol stared at Kyungsoo, searching his face. He bit his lip and then gave a soft smile. He nodded.

“I never really thought you could do something like that.” He said.

          Kyungsoo blinked a few times.

“Then please help me.” He said, inching towards Chanyeol some.

“What do you need from me?” Chanyeol asked.

“Tell me,” Kyungsoo said. “Tell me everything that happened that day to the best of your abilities.”

“Alright,” Chanyeol nodded again. “I’ll try.”

 

_Chanyeol stepped out of the teacher’s office. Looking around the vacant halls and sighing a little. It was a little annoying to be the only one lectured about “thinking more about the future” but at least he got to see the school when it was all but empty. He began walking to the entrance. He absentmindedly ran his hand through his hair. Suddenly he remembered the hat he lost at school several weeks before._

_“Hmmm,” Chanyeol smiled to himself._

_This was the perfect opportunity to search for it and the perfect excuse to explore the empty school. Chanyeol set off cheerfully down the hall. He poked his head into different classrooms, not really looking terribly hard._

_When he got around to his classroom he actually went inside. He roamed around the room a little, checking under desks and inside the closet. The idea that someone stole his hat had crossed his mind. He peaked inside a few suspects desks, but they were mostly empty. Chanyeol sighed and looked out the window. It was starting to get late and he had cram school soon. He decided just to give up. The hat wasn’t that expensive, and the school was not the most exciting place to explore. Every classroom was practically the same and the halls were a winding maze of never ending identical corridors, total torture for any new students._

_Chanyeol stepped out of the room and made his way to the entrance again, humming a little to himself. As he neared the stair case, the unmistakable sound of a gunshot reached his ears. Chanyeol stopped dead in his tracks, confused. He knew that sound all too well. His father, the paranoid sort of cop that he was, had taught him how to shoot a gun around a year ago. But why was that sound echoing through the halls of his school? And then twice more it rang out. Chanyeol’s heart began to pound. He took off down the stairs, wrapping around the school so as to avoid the area he heard the gun shots. He burst out of the front door and into the parking lot, surprised to see his classmates Baekhyun and Jongin. Baekhyun was sobbing uncontrollably, a phone in hand. Jongin was simultaneously trying to take the phone away from him and calm him down. Chanyeol ran over to them._

_“Do you guys know what happened?” Chanyeol asked._

_They both ignored him. A few minutes later, several police cars pulled into the parking lot…_

 

     Chanyeol trailed off.

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo said. “I know how it is hard to relive that day.”

“No, it’s alright,” Chanyeol gave a reassuring smiled. “I’ve known you for so long, it’d be pretty scummy of me not to even do this much for you. And honestly, if there’s anything else I can do to help, please tell me.”

“There is actually,” Kyungsoo said. “It was very hard to find your address and Jongin’s address. I don’t have a clue about anyone else. Did you keep in contact with anyone after high school?”

“Yeah, actually, just one person.” Chanyeol stood up and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“Who?”

“Byun Baekhyun.”


	4. The Peculiar New

      Kyungsoo absentmindedly spun the piece of paper around in his hand as he stared out the train window. Chanyeol had been kind enough to give him Byun Baekhyun’s address. He had even offered to go with him to make it less of a horribly difficult conversation. But Kyungsoo couldn’t afford to let him come. Even though Chanyeol had been nothing but nice to him, even after they drifted apart, he couldn’t afford to trust him. He was there. He was a suspect.  

     Kyungsoo sighed and shifted his position. Why did it have to be Baekhyun? Why was he the only person Chanyeol kept up with? And why did he have to live so far away? Baekhyun had been nothing but horrible to Kyungsoo ever since they were in middle school. Kyungsoo didn’t have any friends. Baekhyun was friends with everyone. Kyungsoo kept to himself. Baekhyun never let a thought go unspoken. And Baekhyun hated Kyungsoo. He must have. He whispered about Kyungsoo as he passed in the hall.

 

_“Oh, there goes that weird loner again. He’s so creepy.”_

 

      The more he did it, the more everyone else did it.

 

_“Crazy.”_

_“Weird.”_

_“Idiot.”_

_“Creepy.”_

 

        And as time dragged on, those words only got worse. They never hit Kyungsoo. They were even too cowardly to confront him directly. But it was always there. That lingering air of hatred. There was only one day when they confronted him: Graduation. It was supposed to be a happy day. A full of hope for the future. But Baekhyun stripped that delusion away.

 

_“Are you an idiot? You must be. You can’t seriously think you’ll get anywhere in life. Look at you. You’re just a creepy loner. No one likes you.”_

 

        Kyungsoo hadn’t been able to hold it back anymore. He’d burst into tears, right in front of his whole school. They all just stared at him. They didn’t laugh. They didn’t comfort him. He was beneath them. Kyungsoo stepped off the train at his stop. He headed down the street to the bus stop, still lost in his thoughts.

 

        Then high school came. And Baekhyun was coming to the same school. Surely it was just going to be the same nightmare for another four years. But it wasn’t. Luhan, Yifan, and Tao changed it. They changed everything. Baekhyun left him alone. And suddenly, there were three people who looked at Kyungsoo like he was good, like he mattered, like they cared for him. There was peace.

        But he lost it again, and the air of hatred returned, stronger than ever.

 

 

        The bus slowed to a stop and Kyungsoo climbed off. He looked around at the little town surrounding him. The buildings’ colors were all faded. Their once brightly colored signs peeled away from them. Kyungsoo walked down the cracked concrete, turning onto a side road that led through an alley. The farther he got, the more civilization faded, the number of buildings lining the side of the road slowly shrinking. He walked through a tunnel, stepping out and entered a new world. Fields surrounded the small road, old houses dotted along the way. The air felt fresh and the sky seemed open.

          At last, the twisting road led him to his destination: A gorgeous brick home, surrounded by a tall brick wall. Slowly, Kyungsoo walked up to the gate. It’s golden bars and faded marble archway loomed over him. Kyungsoo stepped up to ring the doorbell, but to his surprise, the door of the house swung open. Kyungsoo couldn’t see the person’s face well through the bars, but he recognized their voice.

“Just give me a second,” Baekhyun called, hurrying over to unlock the gate.

“Uh, hello,” Kyungsoo said when he pulled the gate open.

“Wow, you don’t look anything like you did in high school.” Baekhyun smiled a little. “Chanyeol called and told me you were coming.”

“Oh.” Kyungsoo hadn’t expected him to do that. Still he was glad he did.

“You can come in,” Baekhyun said, stepping back to let him through.

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo stepped inside.

           The two of them walked through the front garden. It was lined with gorgeous trees, flowers, and stones. They were somewhat contrasted by the stroller pushed to the side of the path and the red ball lying abandoned in the mud. Kyungsoo followed Baekhyun onto the small porch and into the house.

“Stupid!” A little boy cried as he shoved his toy car violently at his sister.

“Ah!” Baekhyun ran over to them. “Taeyoung, I asked you to go play upstairs.”

“But it’s hot up there.” The little boy pouted.

“I’m not asking.” Baekhyun pulled him onto his feet. “Daddy has someone here he needs to speak with privately. Please, take Jaehee and go upstairs.”

             The boy continued to pout, but he obliged his father and pulled his little sister up the stairs. Baekhyun motioned for Kyungsoo to sit down on the couch. Kyungsoo watched the two children clamber up the stairs as he did so. Baekhyun had kids. It was weird to think about. What kind of father was he? Kyungsoo pulled his eyes back to meet Baekhyun. He did not have a pleasant expression. He almost looked scared. He rung his hands a little before speaking up.

“Chanyeol told me you wanted to talk about the… um...” He trailed off.

“Murders?” Kyungsoo finished.

“Yeah.” Baekhyun nodded.

“Yeah, that’s why I’m here.” Kyungsoo sighed. “I didn’t do it.”

“Ah…” Baekhyun raised his head, nodding slightly.

“I know… I know it’s hard to believe,” Kyungsoo said.

“Sorry.” Baekhyun’s eyes shifted away. “I just don’t see who else it could be.”

“That’s just it.” Kyungsoo scooted forward. “I wasn’t alone at that school. Chanyeol was there, Jongin was there, you were there-”

“You think I did it?” Baekhyun cut him off, suddenly looking defensive. “Because of our past?”

“Ah, well-” Kyungsoo stuttered.

“I didn’t. I liked Tao, Yifan and… Luhan.” Baekhyun choked up a little on the last name.

Kyungsoo furrowed his brow. “And they were my best friends… my only friends. I’m going to be honest with you Baekhyun, I do suspect you. Not because of all the things you did to me.”

           Baekhyun grimaced a little.

“But because you were there. And it’s not just you, it’s all the people I know were there. You said you didn’t do it right?”

            Baekhyun nodded slowly.

“So, prove it. Tell me what happened.”

“Alright…”

 

 

_Baekhyun walked along the crowded street. The same question running through his head. Should he do it today? Should he turn around? There was one reason to do it, and a million not to. Baekhyun groaned. It was a very good reason. He turned on his heels and took off running back to his school. His mind and heart were racing. This was a bad idea. But still he as he neared the school, the idea of finally getting this off his chest was all too sweet._

_Baekhyun stood in front of the school. Shifting his weight from foot to foot. He had already run all the way back. He just needed to go inside. He reached out his hand to open the door. But the door suddenly flew open. Baekhyun yelped and stepped back. His classmate Jongin emerged. He looked terrified._

_“Baekhyun!” He grabbed Baekhyun’s shoulders and pulled him away. “There were- they must have been gunshots. I left my phone inside, you need to call the police!”_

_“Huh? What?” Baekhyun stammered._

_“Call the police idiot!” Jongin screamed._

_“Okay, Okay!” Baekhyun pulled his phone out._

 

 

            Baekhyun ended the story somewhat unceremoniously.

“That’s really all I remember.” He said.

            Kyungsoo nodded, but there was chaos in his head. That story didn’t make any sense. It didn’t fit well with what Chanyeol had told him. It could be explained away by the fragility of the human memory, but still, a knot formed in Kyungsoo stomach.

“You said you were going home but you turned around to do something at school. What was it?”

              Baekhyun leaned back, not breaking eye contact but not speaking. He wasn’t going to answer. Kyungsoo sighed and stood up.

“Well, if it’s relevant…” Kyungsoo handed him a slip of paper with his number on it. “Call me.”

“…Alright.” Baekhyun took it reluctantly.  

Kyungsoo turned to leave, but stopped. “If you don’t mind, one more thing.”

“Yes?” Baekhyun looked up.

“Did you keep up with anyone besides Chanyeol after high school?” Kyungsoo asked.

“No.” Baekhyun shrugged. “Not really.”

“Alright. Thank you for helping me.” Kyungsoo really meant it. He was grateful.

             Baekhyun nodded and Kyungsoo stepped back out into the garden, his mind racing. He had hit a dead end. The truth was far from being uncovered, he had no idea where the others were living now, and the stories he had heard didn’t line up. Something else was strange. Baekhyun hadn’t been at all pleased to talk to Kyungsoo. So, why? Why had he agreed to let someone he believed to be a murderer into his house with his children? Why had he given in and told him what happened? Chanyeol had called him and he could be very persuasive. Or... was there another reason?


	5. Somber Capture

      Kyungsoo’s eyes burned as he stared at the computer screen. A thousand bland sites flickered past, all meaningless. He was so desperate to find the next connection, the next person. He sighed and lowered his head onto the table. His eyes slid closed. The gross taste of failure developing in his mouth. A voice in the back of his head begged for rest, for him to give up. But the rest of his being screamed for him to continue, to push forward. He raised his head, rubbing his eyes.

“Just one more page, then I’ll go home,” He mumbled to himself.

      He scrolled slowly down the page, looking over the different sites. It seemed like just another page of irrelevancy. But then something caught his eye. He clicked on the link and it brought him to an amateur website. As soon as the page loaded a song began playing. The guitar player slowly plucked out the somber tunes and then they started singing… in Chinese. Kyungsoo scrolled around the page a little, a smile spreading across his face. A Chinese freelance musician living in Korea. He had an address listed.

“Got you…” Kyungsoo leaned back. “Zhang Yixing.”

 

 

         Another long train ride with Kyungsoo left alone with his thoughts. They swirled around his head in moments of quiet, pulling him to dark places. Memories bubbled to the surface. Kyungsoo knew very little about Yixing. Everyone thought he was weird. He wasn’t very fluent in Korean, so he couldn’t communicate very well. There were a myriad of other little things, cultural differences, that made people avoid him. Kyungsoo had been afraid of him. He had never hurt anyone but there was a darkness behind his eyes. Something just… off about the way he would look at people. Kyungsoo stepped off the train. He wasn’t afraid of him anymore.

 

       Kyungsoo walked down the streets of Busan. Slowly, as he made his way down the small backstreets, he reached the forgotten fold of the city. The buildings got older, dirtier, and smaller. Over a stone wall he could see newer, shiny apartments looming over the run-down homes. Two completely different worlds, at each other’s doorstep. As he drew nearer to his destination, he began to hear faint singing. The melancholy voice blending into the atmosphere. And at last, Kyungsoo saw him sitting on the steps leading to a tiny building. He held his guitar, gently stroking the strings, eyes closed. Kyungsoo couldn’t understand his words, but he felt like he understood the song nonetheless.

“Yixing?” Kyungsoo mumbled, not wanting the song to stop.

          Yixing opened his eyes, still singing. He looked Kyungsoo up and down, slowing the song to a stop. He furrowed his brow a little.

“Yes?” He said.

“Um, you may not remember me-” Kyungsoo started.

“I remember you.” Yixing set his guitar down. “You killed those three boys, right?”

“No, no!” Kyungsoo stepped forward and Yixing stood up. “I-I didn’t.”

“Really?” Yixing raised his eyebrows skeptically.

“They were my friends,” Kyungsoo said.

           Yixing looked at him for a long time.

“Why are you here?” Yixing asked, almost like he knew the answer.

“I’m trying to find out who killed them,” Kyungsoo said. “You were there that day, right?”

“Yes, I was.” Yixing stepped up one of the stairs. “Come on, let’s talk inside.”

         Kyungsoo was caught off guard by the sudden invitation, but he still, a little reluctantly, followed Yixing into the tiny home. The place smelled musty and damp. The old tacky wallpaper peeled off the walls in several corners. The whole apartment was small enough to be someone’s bedroom. It didn’t help that there were piles of boxes littering the floor, making everything feel even more claustrophobic. Yixing gestured to the only chair in sight.

“You can sit there,” He said.

           Kyungsoo nodded, stepping around the boxes to sit. He felt extremely uncomfortable, but he pushed those feelings aside for the time being. Yixing plopped down on the floor, gently placing his guitar back into its case. Kyungsoo didn’t want to stare so he looked around for something to focus on.

 “This is just a temporary house.” Yixing said, leaning against the wall. “You’re lucky. If you had come later, I would probably be back in China.”

“Oh.” Kyungsoo didn’t really know how to respond to that. “You’re moving back? Haven’t you settled down in Korea after all this time? Your Korean has really improved and-”

            Yixing grimaced at his comments, so Kyungsoo cut himself off.

“I don’t like Korea,” Yixing muttered, almost defensively.

            Silence.

“Well, um, would you mind telling me your story?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Alright.” Yixing sat up.

 

           

_Yixing sat underneath the stairs, doodling in his notebook. He hummed a little tune to himself, trying to think of some lyrics to go along with it._

_“Miss sunshine, dear one. Pull me up out of my lonely self. Let me hear your soft voice.” He sang under his breath._

_He stopped doodling and groaned. He could never express himself right in Korean. He was sick of being in this country. His parents were so convinced it held a better life for them. He scribbled over his drawings and decided to take a walk around the empty school halls for some inspiration. He abandoned his things, stood, and sauntered up the stairs. He knew most kids his age were still studying, desperately trying to get their foot hold in life. And Yixing’s parents wanted him to be the same way. But Yixing knew as soon as he got out of high school he would get himself a low-level job, save up some money, and go right back to China._

_Bang! A gunshot rang out down the hall. Yixing froze, his heart started to race. He knew that sound. Slowly, he started walking in the direction he heard it come from. Two more burst through the air. Yixing walked a little faster. Suddenly he heard voices, he turned the corner to see two students._

_“Woah, Jongin, what’s going on?” One of them asked._

_“Baekhyun!” The other boy slowed down briefly. “There were- they must have been gunshots. I left my phone back- you need to call the police!”_

_“What?” The first boy could barely stammer out the question before the other boy ran past him down the stairs._

_Yixing stood there, motionless, unsure of what to do. The boy didn’t move either, also confused. He looked down the hallway and a worried expression spread across his face. He jogged down to one of the classrooms and pulled the door open. For a moment, he stood there, not moving. He stumbled backwards._

_“Oh my-” His words became too jumbled for Yixing to understand and he staggered away from the door._

_He took off back down the hallway, a horrified expression on his face, one unlike anything Yixing had seen before. Tears were welling up in the boy’s eyes and he pulled his phone hastily out of his back pocket. Yixing was terrified now. He followed after the boy, glancing down the hallway once before running down the stairs. And in that one glance, he saw someone else walk up to that classroom. All details about them blurred except their amused smile._

_Yixing tripped going down the stairs. He slammed up against the wall. Pain shot up his shoulder. His heart was racing, he felt like he was dying. Someone was dead. He knew it. He suddenly remembered he left his notebook and backpack under the stairs. In a fit of insanity, he sprinted off to get them. He raced back to those familiar stairs and snatched his things off the floor. It just hitting him how stupid he was for coming back for them. He took off, continuing down the same way. He burst out of a side door and wrapped around to the front of the building. Three boys stood in the parking lot, one on the phone. Yixing ran up to them. Only one of them noticed him running over. They gave him some sort of reassuring smile. It didn’t comfort him at all._

 

           Yixing finished his story. Kyungsoo sat there dazed, his mind racing.

“Is that everything?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Yes. That’s what happened,” Yixing said.

            Kyungsoo stood up.

“Thank you.” He smiled. “I really mean it.”

             Yixing nodded, maybe a little uncomfortable.

“I need to get going now,” Kyungsoo said. “But just really quick, did you keep up with anyone else after high school?”

“No,” Yixing said very adamantly.

“Thank you anyway.” Kyungsoo stepped over the boxes. “I’ll let you know if I need anything else.”

“Alright.” Yixing stood up.

                 Kyungsoo bowed and stepped out of the door. He took off running down the street.

“You lied, didn’t you?” He laughed a little under his breath.


	6. Liar Liar

        Kyungsoo stared out the window, watching the cars drift past the little café. The incoherent noise of the people chattering around him was comforting. A half empty cup of tea sat on the table, having turned cold long ago. The gentle chime of the door opening drew his eyes to the front of the shop. His eyes met Baekhyun’s. He made his way over to Kyungsoo. He looked tense.

“Why did you call me here?” Baekhyun asked, pulling out a chair and sitting down.

“I’ve spoken to several people now,” Kyungsoo said. “And their stories don’t fit with yours.”

“What? Who?” Baekhyun tensed up even more.

Kyungsoo ignored the second question. “They said they saw you inside the building and far more destressed then you made it seem like you were.”

“They must be confused or-” Baekhyun started.

“Lying?” Kyungsoo leaned back in his chair. “You’re the only person with an inconsistent story.”

         Baekhyun stared at Kyungsoo, brow furrowed and mouth slightly open. There was silence for only a moment. Baekhyun scoffed and leaned back himself.

“Oh, come on.” Baekhyun crossed his arms. “You’re just being like this because of our past.”

“What? Is it so unreasonable for me to side with the majority when I already know how awful you can be?” Kyungsoo asked.

“I was in middle school!” Baekhyun’s irritated expression wavered a little. “You can’t still be holding that against me!”

“Biases or no, you’re still wrong according to multiple people.” Kyungsoo said.

“Why would I lie?” Baekhyun raised his voice.

“I don’t know. Why?” Kyungsoo remained still.

“I’m not dealing with this!” Baekhyun stood up. “I don’t have to tell you anything!”

           Kyungsoo watched Baekhyun cross to the front of the café. Several other people watched him storm away too. Kyungsoo was about to stand up but he stopped. What perfect timing. The door swung open.

“Oh, hey Baekhyun.” Chanyeol stepped inside, giving Baekhyun a pleasant enough smile.

Baekhyun stumbled back a little. “What are you doing here?”

“Kyungsoo asked me to come.” Chanyeol’s eyes searched around the room until he spotted Kyungsoo.

          Chanyeol smiled and waved. Kyungsoo waved back. Chanyeol gestured for Baekhyun to follow him over to the table. Kyungsoo smiled. You can’t say no to Chanyeol.

“Sit back down Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo stared at Baekhyun, smile unwavering.

           Chanyeol sat down opposite Kyungsoo, forcing Baekhyun to sit next to him. He seemed rather oblivious to the tense atmosphere. Most of the café had caught on and the white noise was softening.

“Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo dropped the smile. “You saw Baekhyun outside the school, right?”

 “Yeah. He was sobbing and all out of breath and stuff.” Chanyeol said, glancing over at Baekhyun.

“It wasn’t that bad…” Baekhyun didn’t look up. “You’re exaggerating.”

              Chanyeol raises his eyebrows, his cheery character vanished. He stared at Baekhyun for several seconds.

“Why are you lying?” Chanyeol asked.

               Baekhyun flinched but kept his eyes trained on the floor.

“Baekhyun. Look at me.” Chanyeol commanded.

                He lifted his head, looking at Chanyeol, genuine fear in his eyes. Kyungsoo shifted his eyes to Chanyeol. His expression was near unreadable.

“Why are you lying?” Chanyeol repeated.

“He-he’s a murderer…” Baekhyun’s voice shook. “I know, I saw it…”

 

 

                _Baekhyun rushed down the hall, heart pounding in his ears. He stopped in front of the door. His eyes darted to his right and left. He could see someone running away, a gun in his hand. He knew him. It was Kyungsoo._ _His heart stopped. He threw open the door._

_“Oh my-” Words caught in his throat, pouring out incoherent nonsense._

_Three dead bodies lay sprawled out on the classroom floor._

 

 

              Kyungsoo’s composition crumbled. His voice caught in his throat. Baekhyun and Chanyeol both stared at him.

“N-no, I wasn’t-” Kyungsoo stuttered.

“What?” Baekhyun cut him off. “Why would you have a gun if you hadn’t killed them?”

“It wasn’t mine!” Kyungsoo’s voice raised. “I found it on the ground.”

“You think I’m an idiot?” Baekhyun slammed his hands on the table, standing up. “Why would I believe that weak story when even the police didn’t?”

                Kyungsoo looked up at him, mouth hanging open uselessly. Chanyeol looked at the two of them helplessly. Kyungsoo’s head sunk. Baekhyun turned slowly.

“Never contact me again.” He said, stepping away from the table.

                Baekhyun began to leave, the whole café was silent. Kyungsoo clenched his fists. But slowly he released them, and he raised his head.

“Why did you talk to me?” Kyungsoo asked.

“What?” Baekhyun stopped.

“Why did you even talk to me if you’re so sure I’m a murderer?” Kyungsoo asked.

             Baekhyun turned, looking between Kyungsoo and Chanyeol. He opened and closed his mouth a few times. But he finally decided on his answer.

“C-Chanyeol-” He started.

“Don’t give me that crap.” Kyungsoo stopped him. “It wouldn’t matter how persuasive Chanyeol is, no one would allow someone that think is a murderer into their house with their children.”

“Baekhyun, you can’t really believe Kyungsoo is a murderer.” Chanyeol said.

“Why are you siding with him!” Baekhyun exploded. “H-he went to jail! It had to have been him!”

“Baekhyun…” Chanyeol said, quietly.

“Why are you doing this?” Baekhyun turned to Kyungsoo “Why are you taking away my closure?”

“Closure?” Kyungsoo scoffed. “Why would you need closure? You didn’t even know them that well!”

“Luhan was my best friend!” Baekhyun screamed.

            Kyungsoo froze, his eyes trained on Baekhyun. He read every detail of his face for some hint that he was lying. But there was so much pain in Baekhyun’s eyes.

“What?” Was all Kyungsoo could manage.

“He-he was my only real friend…” Baekhyun lowered his head. “He didn’t just like me because I was popular, or good looking, he liked ME. He was even changing me for the better.”

“I don’t believe you.” Kyungsoo shook his head. “He never told me you were friends.”

“I didn’t want anyone to know! I was so selfish, so cowardly, I cared more about my image at school then hanging out with the only person who cared about me!” Tears slowly trailed down Baekhyun’s face. “But he was changing me. I didn’t want to be like that anymore.  High school is so… fleeting. I spent all my younger years tormenting people, so I could feel… something… anything except that worthlessness. I hated myself. I hated what I did to people, including you.”

 

_Baekhyun walked along the crowded street. The same question running through his head. Should he finally apologize to Kyungsoo? There was one reason to do it, Luhan had been telling him he needed to for a long time now, but there were a million not to. Baekhyun groaned. It was a very good reason. He turned on his heels and took off running back to his school. His mind and heart were racing. This was a bad idea. But still he as he neared the school, the idea of finally getting this off his chest was all too sweet._

             _He pulled out his phone and texted Luhan. Luhan seemed pretty excited. Baekhyun smiled, a bit nervously, at his final text, the number of the classroom they were in. He pulled open the school’s door and walked inside. It was completely empty, kind of creepy. Baekhyun climbed up the stairs, nervously fiddling with his shirt. Kyungsoo probably still hated him. Why shouldn’t he? Baekhyun had been awful to him. He reached the top of the stairs when he spotted Jongin running down the hall. He looked terrified._

_“Woah, Jongin, what’s going on?” Baekhyun asked._

_“Baekhyun!” Jongin slowed down briefly. “There were- they must have been gunshots. I left my phone back- you need to call the police!”_

_“What?” Baekhyun could barely stammer out the question before the Jongin ran past him down the stairs._

_Baekhyun watched him, scared and confused. He looked down the hall where Jongin had come from. His heart skipped a beat. The classroom Luhan was in was down there. His mind flittered through a hundred reasons this was happening, none good. He rushed down the hall, heart pounding in his ears. He stopped in front of the door. His eyes darted to his right and left. He could see someone running away, a gun in his hand. He knew him. It was Kyungsoo. His heart stopped. He threw open the door._

_“Oh my-” Words caught in his throat, pouring out incoherent nonsense._

_Three dead bodies lay sprawled out on the classroom floor. Baekhyun’s legs trembled and he stumbled away. His mind went blank, filled with so much fear he was left with only his most basic instincts. He turned and sprinted down the hall, tears blurring his vision. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and he ran down the stairs. Each breath was jagged and painful. He burst out of the building’s front door just as someone answered his call._

_“119, what’s your emergency?” The voice asked._

_Baekhyun could barely breath, let alone string together a sentence describing what he’d seen. He noticed Jongin running up to him. He was considerably calmer, he tried to take the phone, but Baekhyun clutched onto it. He started sobbing uncontrollably._

_“They’re dead!” He cried._

 

 

“I was going to apologize to you!” Baekhyun cried. “But-but you stole the only person I had from me! You killed him! I know it was you!”

               The hatred is Baekhyun’s eyes stripped away what feeling of calm Kyungsoo had been able to cling to.

“You don’t know anything!” Kyungsoo stood up. “You don’t know anything about me! What I’ve gone through, what they meant to me, you could never understand. You lost one person and had a chance to start again. I lost three and had the last few years of my childhood ripped away from me! In fact, I lost everything that night! My friends, my family, my respect, my future! I didn’t kill them. You know that. You never would have spoken to me otherwise. You’re just a coward, too afraid to confront what you did, and what you didn’t do.”

                  Baekhyun stared at Kyungsoo, truly broken. Kyungsoo closed his eyes, composing himself. He’d gotten what he wanted. He pushed past Baekhyun. Baekhyun weakly grabbed for his arm.

“I’m sorry…” His voice was barely audible.

Kyungsoo stopped but didn’t turn around. “Chanyeol.”

“Y-yeah?” Chanyeol stood up.

“Take him home.”


	7. The Scars We Hold to

**Park Chanyeol:**

AGE: Currently 24, was 17 at the time of the murders.

LOCATION: Lived in apartment building 111, current location: Deokcheon1 (IL)-Dong

ALIBI: He had a meeting with a teacher, and then stayed longer to search for his hat. He was just leaving when he heard the shots. He leaves and runs into Baekhyun and Jongin.

 

**Byun Baekhyun:**

AGE: Currently 24, was 17 at the time of the murders.

LOCATION: Lived in apartment building 109, current location: Sangbuk-Myeon

ALIBI: He was heading home but decided to go back to the school to apologize. He ran into Jongin who was leaving the area in a panic. He saw the bodies and ran from the building. He called the police.

 

**Zhang Yixing:**

AGE: Currently 25, was 18 at the time of the murders.

LOCATION: Lived in apartment building 108, current location: Mora 1, (IL)-Dong

ALIBI: He was hanging out at the school. He heard the shots and went to investigate. He saw Baekhyun and Jongin run into each other. He followed Baekhyun. As he left he saw someone walk towards the room.

 

             Kyungsoo gazed at the papers strewn across his floor. They were all wrinkled. Tons of tiny notes, written, erased, and revised, covered them. His eyes were drawn to the most disheveled papers, the ones for the three people he had interviewed. It was too early to say anything for certain, but Kyungsoo had his suspicions.

              Yixing had been surprisingly willing to help him for someone who was as socially outcast as he was during high school. He didn’t seem surprised that Kyungsoo was trying to solve his friend’s murder either. He also had a motive in not liking Koreans. Chanyeol was no better. Despite his infectiously cheerful attitude and Kyungsoo’s past with him, something wasn’t right. He was all too willing to go above and beyond to help Kyungsoo. There had to be a reason. There was no such thing as meaningless kindness, Kyungsoo knew that well. And finally, Baekhyun. Kyungsoo sighed. It was hard for him not to trust Baekhyun. He had seen real pain in his eyes. But was it merely out of a sense of guilt?

              Kyungsoo had decided the best decision would be to drop all contact with them for the time being. Chanyeol and Yixing had both asked for several updates on where he was going. Kyungsoo just ignored them. He needed to interview everyone before he could truly start suspecting people. But, who next?

 

 

_Buzz buzz!_

 

               Kyungsoo’s eyes fluttered open and he instantly sat up. His head spun around to look at the clock. He had fallen asleep for almost an hour! He groaned and rubbed in face in frustration. He looked over at his phone. It buzzed again, the screen lighting up to briefly show he had gotten a text message. He figured it was probably Chanyeol asking if he was alright or something. He turned on his phone and opened the text.

 

_\- Baekhyun -_

_xxx-xxx-xxxx_

 

_\- Baekhyun -_

_He’ll talk to you now._

 

               Kyungsoo blinked. He added the phone number to his contacts and his fingered hovered over the call button. Who was it? Was it really a good idea to call them? Reluctantly, he switched back over to his messages.

                                                                                                      _\- You -_

_Who is it?_

_\- …_

 

Baekhyun typed and retyped his response a million times. Kyungsoo came very close to throwing his phone across the room in frustration and anticipation.

 

_\- Baekhyun -_

_Kim Jongin._

 

 

                   There Kyungsoo stood once more, in front of Jongin’s house. He fiddled with his phone in his pocket. Their text conversation had been short and to the point. He had given Kyungsoo a specific time and date to come, no sooner and no later. Kyungsoo rang the doorbell. The door swung open.

“Come in,” Jongin turned away before he had even finished talking.

                      Kyungsoo followed him tentatively inside. The house was modern and clean but clearly lived in. Some odd decorating choices, such as a couch that was obviously much older than anything else in the room, convinced Kyungsoo that Jongin was most certainly the decorator. Jongin motioned towards the aforementioned couch and sat down across from it.

“So,” Kyungsoo said, sitting down. “What changed your mind?”

“Baekhyun.” Jongin said, his eyes studying Kyungsoo carefully. “And…”

“And?” Kyungsoo asked.

                       Jongin seemed a little startled like he hadn’t really meant to say that. He straightened up.

“You want to hear what happened that day, right?” He asked.

Kyungsoo furrowed his brow slightly. “Yes, whatever you can remember could be helpful.”

“Okay,”

 

 

               _Jongin’s eyes opened. They were sore and heavy. His cheeks were still wet, and his nose was running. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, certainly not in the bathroom of all places. He was quite the mess. There was still that sick feeling in his stomach._

_He realized something must’ve woken him up. Worry spread through him as he wondered if someone had come into the bathroom. Suddenly two loud bangs shook the air around him. That was definitely what woke him up. He stood up and opened the stall. His back was aching terribly. He looked at himself in the mirror. He couldn’t help but think how disgusting he looked. He pushed away the sick feeling spreading to his chest for the sake of his curiosity. He had no idea what those sounds could’ve been._

_Slowly, he pushed open the bathroom door. He looked down the hallway, empty. He had been crying for a long time, he wouldn’t have been surprised if everyone had left already. But as his brain began to clear of haze, the question of what that sound was became more and more sinister. There was no one here, or at least very few people. Who could’ve made that noise? The more he thought back to it the more only one answer became evident. It had to have been gunshots. And they were close._

_“Holy…” Words caught up in his throat as adrenaline poured into his system._

_He looked around once more and then took off down the hall. As he neared the end, a voice startled him._

_“Woah, Jongin, what’s going on?” Baekhyun asked, climbing the final steps to the hallway._

_“Baekhyun!” Jongin slowed down briefly. “There were- they must have been gunshots. I left my phone back- you need to call the police!”_

_“What?” Baekhyun could barely stammer out the question before the Jongin ran past him down the stairs._

_Jongin was just happy to see someone he knew. But not happy enough to stop for long. He was kicking himself for forgetting his phone in his bag that still lay on the bathroom floor. He stumbled out of the front doors and took off towards the sidewalk. But as the adrenaline lessened, the thought that those might not have been gunshots slowed him to a stop. Even if they were gunshots he had just left Baekhyun alone in there. He began slowly approaching the school again. But he was moving so slowly he might as well have long since run away._

_The doors flung open and Baekhyun ran out. He was crying, no, straight up sobbing. He was holding his phone and trembling uncontrollably. Jongin ran up to him. He must’ve been on the phone with the police, but it was clear he was too shaken to tell them anything coherent. Jongin tried to take the phone but Baekhyun just held onto it and pulled away. The words he finally managed to force out made Jongin’s heart stop._

_“They’re dead!”_

 

 

               Jongin told the story with the faintest hint of cynical amusement. When he finished he looked over at Kyungsoo expectantly, like he was waiting for him to leave.

“Is that everything?” Kyungsoo asked.

“I suppose so,” Jongin said. “Is that all you wanted?”

“No,” Kyungsoo said, standing slowly.

“What is it?” Jongin asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Did you have anything to do with the death of my sister?”


	8. The Darkest Contentment

“Did you have anything to do with the death of my sister?”

Jongin’s eyes drifted slowly to the floor, he remained silent for several seconds. When he raised his eyeline back up to meet Kyungsoo’s harsh gaze, his eyes were glazed over.

“You probably want to know if I know where anyone else lives currently, right?” He said.

“Jongin, you don’t get to avoid that question.” Kyungsoo stepped towards him, a hostile tone creeping into his voice.

Jongin stood, towering over Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo took another step forward, unfettered. The determination and anger in his eyes unmatched in Jongin’s apathetic expression. Jongin put a hand on Kyungsoo’s shoulder and began guiding him to the front door.

“I didn’t keep up with many people after high school,” He said. “But I’ve heard stories and I’ve read articles, so I do know about one person.”

“Jongin you can’t-” Kyungsoo tried to turn around to look at him but Jongin gave him a final forceful push through the doorway.

“Kim Minseok. He’s living on the streets somewhere around here. Find him if you want. But I’m done.” Jongin closed the door.

 

 

       Grey skies, pealing paint, small buildings pressed tightly together, people sitting on the side of the road, distant arguments, these were the sights and sounds that surrounded Kyungsoo as he walked aimlessly. If it had been anyone else, Kyungsoo would’ve assumed Jongin was trying to waste Kyungsoo’s time, but it was Kim Minseok. Child of a murderer, suspected member of a gang, Kim Minseok. Where else could he end up? It was cynical of Kyungsoo to assume so, but he had always seen that, whatever hand life gave you, you could never escape it.

         Rain droplets began to hit Kyungsoo’s face. Gently, they slid down his skin, wiping away the thoughts that clogged his head. He stopped and raised his head to look up into the clouds. They drifted by, unaware of the world below them, carelessly dropping their rain. But the clouds were kind today, and little rain fell. Still, Kyungsoo lifted his hood to cover his head, the momentary bliss forgotten. He continued on his path.

           Ahead of him, two young men drew closer. The taller one nudged the other looking at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo slowed as they approached him rapidly. He knew what they wanted to do. He also knew they were obviously amateurs and completely unsubtle. The taller one pulled out a knife.

“Empty your pockets.” The man raised the knife, shaking slightly.

             Kyungsoo gazed at them. They weren’t that kind of petty killer, he could tell. He had spent seven years surrounded by petty killers. They were probably just desperate. He almost felt bad for them. Still, he needed what little money he had.

“No,” Kyungsoo said, beginning to move past them.

“Hey!” The smaller one put out his hand and stopped Kyungsoo. “Are you some kind of idiot? He’s pointing a knife at you!”

“I’ll kill you, moron!” The taller one pushed Kyungsoo.

                 Kyungsoo’s hood slipped as he stumbled backwards. The raindrops started to roll down his face again. His mind cleared. He began to realize there was no point in having the money if they killed him. Survival came first. He raised his head to look at them, his hand moving slowly to his pocket. But he stopped. Their expressions had changed.

“Wait… he’s-” The shorter one grabbed the other’s arm.

          Fear spread through their faces. They knew who he was. Pain shot through Kyungsoo’s chest. The taller one began pulling the other one away. They didn’t say another word. They didn’t have to. He was a monster, even to them. Kyungsoo straightened up. The rain pulled away every thought but one. _I am hated._

            Kyungsoo pulled his hood up once more. The storm of thoughts returned, drowning out the sickening feeling. Someone else approached him.

“Hey,” The voice called.

             Kyungsoo turned. For a moment Kyungsoo wasn’t sure, but as he drew closer his suspicion was confirmed. It was Minseok.

“I know you, don’t I?” He smiled. “Do Kyungsoo right? The guy who supposedly killed three of my classmates.”

“Y-yeah.” Kyungsoo walked slowly towards him. “Minseok?”

“Long time no see,” Minseok said. “What brings you to this dump?”

“You, actually.”

 

 

“Seven years, huh?” Minseok leaned against the “wall” of his “home”.

            Minseok had led Kyungsoo to a little tent situated between two buildings. It was a pretty nice tent. Kyungsoo was almost certain Minseok had stolen it. They both now sat inches from each other, the rain gently pattering against the cloth above them.

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo looked down. “I was honestly lucky to only get that much. Maybe it was because I’m so young.”

“Nah, you must’ve had a pretty good lawyer,” Minseok laughed. “I wish I had a good lawyer.”

“You went to prison?” Kyungsoo looked at him.

Minseok nodded. “A couple times. Out on parole right now, actually.”

         Kyungsoo was surprised how casual he sounded about it. But, he supposed, this must’ve always been Minseok’s life.

“It’s hard to get a job like that. That’s why I’m living in this castle.” Minseok patted the tent. “But I guess you would know all about that.”

“I haven’t really been looking for a job,” Kyungsoo admitted. “I’m trying to find the person who killed my friends.”

“Oh?” Minseok raised his eyebrows.

“I-I didn’t kill them,” Kyungsoo tried to explain. “I was-well I-”

“Nah, you don’t have to explain,” Minseok said. “I believe you.”

Kyungsoo stared at him. “Why?”

“You sound like you don’t even believe yourself.” Minseok laughed. “Look man, I know it’s cliché, but you don’t have the eyes of a killer.”

“I see.” Kyungsoo sighed. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” Minseok said. “So, how can I help?”

“You were there that day, right?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Ah, yeah.” Minseok straightened up. “How did you…”

“Could you tell me what happened?”

“I guess. Not sure how much I remember.”

 

 

_Minseok walked around to the back of the school. His stomach was tied in knots. He had to make this quick, he couldn’t risk his mother finding out. She would be so disappointed. Two boys were leaning against the wall, talking in hushed tones. They noticed him approaching. They straightened up._

_“Minseok, finally!” Jinil said._

_“What is this about?” Minseok asked._

_“Don’t be an idiot,” Taejoon said. “The robbery.”_

_“I told you, I don’t want to be a part of that.” Minseok turned to leave._

_“What you want doesn’t matter.” Jinil grabbed his shoulder. “You’re the only one here with any real experience. We need you. Plus, we know about your mom, man.”_

_Minseok shook his hand off. “This isn’t going to work with just us. We should get the rest of the guys-”_

_“No!” Taejoon cut him off. “That would defeat the purpose. We’re the new kids, we gotta make them respect us.”_

_“I really don’t like this idea.” Minseok repeated, desperately hoping they would give up._

_“You don’t have to like it. You just have to help.” Jinil smiled._

_“Well-” Minseok was cut off by a loud bang._

_They all went silent. They knew what that sound was. They looked up at the building. It had come from somewhere inside._

_“Was that-” Jinil didn’t finish before two more shots rang out._

_“That’s gotta be someone lookin’ for us!” Taejoon said._

_“Minseok, did you tell anyone we were meeting here?” Jinil said._

_“What? No!” Minseok stepped back. “We don’t have time for that. We need to get out of here!”_

_“Yeah.” Taejoon grabbed his bag, his hands shaking. “Come on, Jinil.”_

_“No.” Jinil grabbed Taejoon’s arm. “If they really are after us, we gotta fight them.”_

_“What?” Minseok cried. “Are you crazy? They have a gun!”_

_“Are you scared?” Jinil asked, his tone dead serious._

_“Screw it,” Taejoon dropped his bag. “We’ll prove ourselves by killing whatever idiot decided to shoot their gun in our territory.”_

_“No,” Minseok’s voice was much calmer this time. “I doubt their after us. Why would they be shooting in there if we’re out here? They must be after the principal or something. You know what he’s like. It’s his problem. It’s not worth it.”_

_“Still,” Jinil said. “We gotta prove ourselves, right?”_

_“The robbery is a way better idea!” Minseok said. “We’re sticking with that.”_

_Jinil and Taejoon looked at each other. Their fear and pride doing fierce battle within them. Finally, there seemed to be a winner._

_“He’s right,” Jinil said._

_“Yeah,” Taejoon grabbed his bag again. “Let’s go.”_

_“Let’s scatter and meet up at the apartment buildings.” Jinil turned and took off running._

_Taejoon gave a nod to Minseok and ran off in the other direction. Minseok looked up at the building and then took off running himself._

 

 

“That’s pretty much all I remember,” Minseok said.

         Kyungsoo’s mind was a mess. He struggled to collect his thoughts. There was a silence for a minute.

“There were two other people there?” He asked.

“Yeah but I don’t think you need to suspect them,” Minseok said. “Like I said, I was with them when the shots happened. Plus, they’ve, uh, well they got themselves killed.”

“So, the only people who can corroborate your story are dead?” Kyungsoo furrowed his brow.

“I guess you could see it that way…” Minseok shifted around slightly.

“Then, you’re lying, aren’t you?” Kyungsoo said.

“What?”

“I saw you standing at the front of the school as they dragged me out.”


	9. The Fragile Memories

        Kyungsoo’s heart was beating in his ears. The tears that escaped his eyes were concealed only by the rain dripping down his face. Minseok’s small tent was steadily growing farther and farther away. But still, the last moments within it only grew within his mind.

 

 “Well, maybe you remembered wrong,” Minseok had said.

“No.” Kyungsoo’s knuckles were white. “There’s no way I could forget any detail of that day.”

“That’s impossible,” Minseok scoffed. “It was seven years ago. You aren’t perfect Kyungsoo, you’re human, and the human brain just doesn’t work that way.”

 

            Kyungsoo had continued to deny it until Minseok forced him to leave. But as Kyungsoo walked towards the bus stop, a twinge of fear had crept into his heart. Minseok could be right. No matter how much he wished otherwise, his memory wasn’t perfect. It could forget or be fooled. The intimate details Kyungsoo had run through his mind a million times could be wrong. Or even worse, he could’ve forgotten a crucial detail that could have revealed the killer or saved him from prison.

            Anger and fear clogged his heart. His legs threatened to give out from under him. All these years, the only person he had to trust had been himself. But he couldn’t even have that. The only things that had been keeping him sane were the memories he had cherished of his loved ones.

 

 

              _Kyungsoo sat on the couch, staring at the TV, not really registering it. He could feel his mother’s eyes on him. He could hear a quiet discussion between her and his sister. He ignored the gross feeling in his stomach._

_“Hey,” His sister plopped down next to him. “So, you’ll be coming to my highschool soon, huh?”_

_Kyungsoo didn’t answer. His eyes drifted from the TV to the floor. She patted his leg._

_“It’ll be a lot better than middle school.” She said. “The kids aren’t completely terrible. Most of them anyway.”_

_“Baekhyun’s going there,” Kyungsoo mumbled. “A bunch of kids from my middle school are.”_

_“Well, if you need to, you can hang out with my boyfriend and me.” She smiled._

_“I don’t like him,” Kyungsoo said. “You deserve better.”_

_She laughed. “Aw, come on! Jongin’s a really sweet guy.”_

_“Sweet enough for you to ignore me all the time?” Kyungsoo asked._

_“Geez, I don’t text him that much.” Her phone buzzed._

_Kyungsoo smiled a little. “Try all the time.”_

_“I’ll work on it,”_

 

 

         Was that even real? Had it just been a moment he’d dreamed up in an effort to feel closer to his sister? He could only remember her laugh, never hear it. He could only remember her smile, never see it. What had she really been like? Could he ever know for sure? Had his mother really been so protective and caring? Had his father really been so distant? He couldn’t know. Each of his breaths was shaky as his mind drifted from precious memory to precious memory, fearing the worst.

 

 

        _The sky above them was pitch black, their path only lit by the lights of the shops they passed. Their laughter greeted the night air like an old friend. Yifan had an arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulder. Kyungsoo could smell his cologne, he’d put way too much on. Luhan and Tao were trying to explain a childhood story, but they were laughing too much to get the whole thing out. Everything felt right._

 

 

         That moment had been perfect. The whole world was just as it should be. But nothing real can be so perfect. Kyungsoo wanted to kick himself. He should have known. Hadn’t he seen just how imperfect the world was for the past seven years? Despair clouded his vision. It was impossible. He couldn’t solve a murder that happened so long ago. All the true evidence was long gone. And the one piece of evidence he’d been clinging to was completely untrustworthy.

           He covered his face. He knew it was pointless. So, why? Why was he still unwilling to give up? He was afraid, utterly terrified he would never find the killer. If he never found who really killed them… there was only one result. Kyungsoo was the killer. It wouldn’t matter what he remembered or what he had felt. The world would see him as a killer and he would be unable to prove, even to himself, he wasn’t.

         The bus stop drew closer. A small group of people stood around it. Kyungsoo wiped his eyes and struggled to look composed. He pulled his hood up and didn’t make eye contact with any of them. He knew if they recognized him they would be scared the entire bus ride. No one really seemed to pay attention to him. Kyungsoo could feel the ocean in his mind beginning to settle after the storm. There was no point in wallowing in self pity over the unchangeable. He couldn’t give up. He would either find the killer or die trying.

           The bus pulled around the corner and approached, slowing to a stop in front of them. The doors opened, and people began to board. Kyungsoo stepped towards it. A hand grabbed his sleeve. Kyungsoo looked down. Minseok was absolutely drenched. His hand was shaking as it clung to Kyungsoo’s jacket.

“M-Minseok?” Kyungsoo stared at him.

 “I’m sorry.” Minseok fell to the ground. “I’m so, so sorry. It’s all my fault.”


	10. Forgive Me

          The bus pulled away, leaving the two men behind. Kyungsoo stared down at Minseok, his mouth slightly open. He pulled his sleeve out of Minseok’s grasp.

“Why?” Kyungsoo’s voice trembled. “Why are you sorry?”

Minseok looked up slowly. “You were right. I did go to the front of the building.”

           Kyungsoo grabbed Minseok’s arm and pulled him off the ground. He dragged him off the main road to a side alley. He pushed Minseok slightly as he let go.

“Tell me.” Kyungsoo said.

          Minseok wiped his eyes and rubbed his arm gently. He stared at the ground for a few moments before speaking.

 

 

_“Let’s scatter and meet up at the apartment buildings.” Jinil turned and took off running._

_Taejoon gave a nod to Minseok and ran off in the other direction. Minseok looked up at the building, his curiosity getting the better of him. His eyes caught a figure running down the hall, a gun in hand. His heart skipped a beat. He threw himself against the wall, praying they didn’t see him. In the few moments Minseok pressed himself against the wall, holding his breathe, his mind processed what he had seen. He knew that kid. He didn’t know his name, but he’d seen him before._ _Minseok stepped away from the wall slowly. That kid didn’t seem like the type to do something like this. But what worried him more than that, was who he knew the kid hung out with. Those three foreign students. Were they here? Minseok slowly started walking towards the front of the building. His heart was in his throat. He really hoped those three weren’t inside that building._

_Every day, as he made his way down the hall, everyone moved. Their eyes darted to the floor, they whispered warnings to each other. They were afraid of him. They hated him. They didn’t want some degenerate going to their precious school. He couldn’t get away from the rumors. He couldn’t get away from his past, or rather, his father’s past. But those kids were different. They didn’t scurry to get out of his path. They didn’t really react to him at all. They had to know who he was and yet… they didn’t seem to care. Minseok had even thought about trying to befriend them but he wasn’t about to ruin their reputation. He resigned himself to just being thankful for their existence. They gave him a little hope that maybe… he could change his image._

          _So, as he leaned around the wall, he hoped his suspicion would be negated. Four boys stood in the parking lot, the three foreign students no where to be seen. One of the boys was on the phone. He was crying, sobbing actually. The other three looked disturbed by what he was saying. Minseok inched forward slightly to hear what he was saying._

_“-ened the door-” He was difficult to understand through his sobs. “-d everywhere. I-I know they… they had to be dead.”_

_Minseok covered his mouth. Someone really had died. He strained to hear more._

_“No, I ran outside…” He must’ve been on the phone with the police. “I don’t know. There are a few people with me… N-no, I didn’t know them.”_

_The boy started to choke up more. One of the other boys tried to grab the phone but he pulled away._

_“They were, uh, they were foreigners… Three. At least three of them-” The other boy managed to pull the phone away._

_Minseok pulled back to the other side of the wall. His knees gave out and he slid down the wall. He put his head in his hands. Death followed him like a vulture, destroying every beautiful thing he had. Rage boiled inside him, but he had nowhere to direct it. He wanted that feeling to end. He wanted to move on with his life. But he was stuck there in that moment. He sat there for a long time, a question bubbling in his mind. Who’d killed them?_

_Sirens wailed in the distance. Minseok came to a conclusion. It was that kid he’d seen running past the window. Now, his rage had a target. He stood up and turned to look around the corner. Several police cars pulled into the parking lot. There were more students standing there as well. Minseok wiped the tears he hadn’t realized he’d been spilling from his cheek. He approached the small crowd._

_“Does anyone know where in the building the shooter is?” An officer asked._

_“I do!” Minseok’s hand shot into the air as he approached. “Third floor, in the back. I saw him in a window.”_

_The officer walked over to him as the others began approaching the building. He stopped and looked Minseok up and down, pulling out a notebook._

_“Can you explain everything you saw?” He asked._

_“A-alright.” Minseok shifted his weight a little._

_“First, what’s your full name?”_

_“Kim Minseok.”_

_The officer raised an eyebrow slightly. He must’ve recognized his name. Minseok could feel his regret beginning to build. Why wouldn’t an officer recognize the name of the son of a prominent killer? He could tell the man was doubting every word that came out of his mouth. Minseok explained his story without mentioning his gang members._

_“And you’re sure the person you saw was the shooter?” The officer asked._

_“Yes.” Minseok nodded, looking as confident as he could._

_“Alright,” The officer looked over at the other students. “I’ll talk to you again in a few minutes.”_

_Minseok nodded again and watched him walk away. The rage had dulled. Minseok sighed softly. But his breath hitched as he felt another feeling settle in. His eyes drifted to the front doors as they slammed open. Two officers dragged a near limp figure out of the building. It was that kid. Minseok watched as they pulled him to the car. He was covered in blood. But his eyes… the feeling grew nearly unbearable when Minseok saw his eyes. He was wrong. That was no killer._

 

 

“It’s my fault.” Minseok’s voice had slipped down to a whisper. “I condemned you to the same life I’ve had. Being stared at and hated everywhere you go, unable to escape it.”

       Kyungsoo turned away from him. He ran his hand through his hair, trying to contain the tug of war going on inside his heart. He looked over at Minseok, a sad smile finding it’s way onto his lips.

“If not you, someone else would have told them.” Kyungsoo said. “You weren’t the only one to see me with the gun. Plus, they needed to put someone behind bars as quickly as possible to appease the public.”

“Are…” Minseok studied Kyungsoo’s face, his brows furrowed. “Are you forgiving me?”

Kyungsoo looked away. “It wasn’t just you that put me in jail. It may as well have been the whole world.” He laughed, a pained, tired laugh. “I don’t know how I would go about forgiving the whole world.”

“Oh,” Minseok sighed. “I don’t know if the world deserves to be forgiven.”

             They didn’t say anything for a while. An air of pity hung over them, perhaps for each other, perhaps for themselves. Kyungsoo felt worn down by the fire that burned in his chest, calling for justice. He knew he couldn’t stay there much longer, but he wished the fire would let him sulk for just a few minutes more.

“Minseok,” He said. “Before I leave, did you keep in touch with anyone after highschool?”

“Not personally. Who are you looking for?” Minseok asked.

“There’s only a few people I haven’t talked to. Just one family. The principal and his two sons, Jongdae and Sehun.” Kyungsoo said.

Minseok laughed. “You seriously don’t know? Here.”

           Minseok handed him a business card. Kyungsoo raised his eyebrows. This was unexpected.

“Well, thank you.” Kyungsoo turned to leave but he stopped. “But, you should know. If you’re the one who killed my friends. I’ll never forgive you.”

“Kyungsoo, I’m not.”

“I promise. I’ll never forgive you.”


	11. Falling Higher

      Tired… he was just so tired. Kyungsoo had not done much in the way of keeping track of the days after he got out of jail. They all seemed to blend together. Kyungsoo fell asleep only when his body refused to stay awake any longer. He never gave himself a moment of rest. Winter had slipped by with so little snow Kyungsoo had paid the cold little mind. But now it was all taking a toll on him.

“Three more people,” Kyungsoo mumbled to himself as his eyes refused to stay open. “Then I can begin to put the pieces together.”

        His body gave out and he drifted to sleep. It was by no means restful, red colored dreams filed his head, but it was still sleep.

 

 

      Sunlight speckled Kyungsoo’s eyelids as they slid open slowly. He breathed in sharply, jolting up. He was lying on his kitchen floor, still considerably wet from the rain. He couldn’t remember coming home or falling asleep. But he could remember his conversation with Minseok vividly. He looked down at his hand and the business card it was still clutching.

 

                  _Kim Sehun - SHOWTIME Studios_

_XXX-XXX-XXX_

_kim.sehun@mail.com_

 

           Kyungsoo turned the card over in his hands a few times. He was surprised Sehun had found himself a job at such a large studio.  Kyungsoo had always thought of Jongdae as the smarter and more business savvy of the two. But he was by no means an expert on the matter. Kyungsoo pushed himself up slowly off the floor and headed for his bedroom. He figured if he was to meet a real live business man, he should dress for the occasion… and probably shower.

 

 

          The Principals sons, Kyungsoo had never really concerned himself with them. Sehun was part of the “popular” crowd, somewhat associating himself with Baekhyun and the like. It was obvious to anyone they were just using him for his connection. He stuck around with them anyway. But his older brother, Jongdae, was even more anti-social and standoffish than Kyungsoo had ever been. In that way, Kyungsoo empathized with him. Kyungsoo didn’t really have anything against them. Still, he granted them no more trust or expectations than the others he had spoken to. They were all threats in his eyes until proven otherwise.

          Kyungsoo stepped off the bus. Crowds of people strolled past as he stared up at the building before him. He hadn’t really considered how he was going to get in. He rubbed his eyes and let a long sigh slip through his lips. This could very easily end badly if he wasn’t careful. Slowly, he made his way up the steps and pushed open the glass doors.

          The lobby was completely empty. Kyungsoo’s shoes squeaked as he walked across the flawless tile floor. The whole place was meant to look modern. Everything was made from simple shapes and dull colors. There was no plant life to be seen. The receptionist didn’t look up from her computer as Kyungsoo approached. He could see twitter reflected in the pane of glass behind her.

Kyungsoo cleared his throat. “Excuse me.”

“Ah!” She jumped, looking rather startled. “Oh, hello. I’m sorry, can I help you with something?”

“Is there any chance I could speak with Kim Sehun?” Kyungsoo asked, trying to sound as polite and nonchalant as possible.

“I’ll, uh, give him a call, hang on.” She picked up the phone next to computer.

         As the two of them waited in silence, she scanned him up and down, a curious look on her face. His vaguely familiar face no doubt bothering her. Then it clicked, and she straightened up slightly. Her eyes darted around the room, maybe looking for an ally. There was no one but the two of them. Kyungsoo wished he could calm her nerves but he knew nothing he could say would change her mind that he was dangerous.

“C-can I get a n-name, please?” She stuttered, not making eye contact.

“Oh, um.” He hesitated for a moment. “It’s Do Kyungsoo.”

          She could only lightly nod, the name no doubt confirming her fear. Kyungsoo started to worry she would call security. Finally, the other line answered. Both Kyungsoo and the receptionist sighed.

“Uh, yes.” She fiddled with the cord as she spoke, still a little on edge. “There’s a Mr. Do Kyungsoo here to see you.”

            There was a long pause. The receptionist pursed her lips, glancing at the receiver.

“Hm? Really? A-alright.” She hung up the phone and looked at Kyungsoo. “You can go on up. It’s the fifth floor, room 407.”

“Thank you.” Kyungsoo bowed slightly and walked towards the elevator.

           He was happy the interaction was over. Still, he could feel her eyes on him as he stepped into the elevator. As the doors closed, she avoided his gaze. The elevator hummed as it carried him up. Kyungsoo closed his eyes, taking the few seconds alone to collect his thoughts. Soon there would be another story jumbling around in his head. He needed to be as clear minded as possible to process and remember it correctly. He must remember every detail they tell him. He must remember. The elevator stopped and let out a ding as the doors pulled opened.

           Kyungsoo stepped into the thin hallway. He glanced around at the room numbers. He spotted 407 and started towards it. Before he could even reach it, the door swung open. A tall man stepped out carrying a briefcase. He had a grim expression. He didn’t even glance at Kyungsoo as he rushed past him. Kyungsoo continued forward slowly. He peered into the office. A younger man sat in the desk chair, his eyes downcast. For a few moments he didn’t notice Kyungsoo’s presence. Then, as Kyungsoo stepped into the doorway, he looked up. Their eyes met and for a few moments they just stared at each other. The man parted his lips like he wanted to say something, but he stayed silent.

“Sehun?” Kyungsoo broke the silence.

“Oh, uh, yes.” Sehun straightened up.

“Like the receptionist told you, my name is Kyungsoo.” Kyungsoo said, stepping further into the room. “Do you remember me?”

“Of course,” Sehun said. “How could I forget?”

             Sehun eyed Kyungsoo suspiciously. He didn’t seem afraid, but he wasn’t friendly either. Kyungsoo closed the door and walked over to the desk. He gestured to a chair as if to ask permission to sit. Sehun nodded and Kyungsoo sat down.

“I’m going to get straight to the point,” Kyungsoo said. “I didn’t kill anyone.”

“What?” Sehun titled his head. “Are you serious?”

“I know, it’s hard to believe.” Kyungsoo scooted forward in his chair. “But I didn’t. I would never kill my friends. Please, I need your help. All you have to do is tell me what you remember from that day.”

           Sehun pursed his lips and remained silent for several seconds. His expression slowly softened, and he sighed.

 “You got something to write with?” He asked with a subtle smirk.

Kyungsoo furrowed his brow. “Why would I need that?”

“Y’know,” Sehun shrugged, obviously beginning to relax. “To remember what I’m saying.”

“I can remember.” Even as the words left his mouth, Kyungsoo found himself doubting them.

         Sehun snorted. He reached into one of his drawers and pulled out a notepad and pen. He plopped them down on the desk in front of Kyungsoo. The notepad had a surprisingly tacky pattern of flowers for a rich guy to have. Kyungsoo picked them up hesitantly. He sighed. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing to keep a record. He flipped to an empty page and clicked the pen.

Sehun laughed. “It kinda feels like I’m being interviewed for the news.”

“Is this fun to you?” Kyungsoo asked, irritation unmistakable in his voice.

“Oh, uh.” Sehun shifted around in his chair. “Sorry.”

“Then go ahead,” Kyungsoo started writing.

         

 

         A _nother late day of working for their father, another afternoon lost sitting in his office. Sehun didn’t mind so much, he liked messing with the trinkets on their father’s desk. Or maybe he just liked being in their father’s presence. But Jongdae was less content to sit and do nothing. He roamed the far edges of the room, glancing at the clock every few seconds._

_“Jongdae,” Their father eventually broke the silence. “If you’re so bored, why don’t you and Sehun walk around the school? It’s distracting having you pacing around like that.”_

_“I wouldn’t be bored if you just let us go home,” Jongdae stopped walking._

_“I can’t let you walk home alone,” Their father said. “It’s not safe. So, just try to entertain yourselves, okay?”_

_“We aren’t children,” Genuine hurt was creeping into Jongdae’s voice._

_Sehun looked between the two of them, unhappy with the situation. “I’d rather stay here if you don’t mind,”_

_Jongdae walked over to Sehun and pulled him out of the chair. “Come on, Sehun. We’re being annoying, right?”_

_Jongdae didn’t wait for their father to answer, he marched out, Sehun in tow. He continued to drag Sehun around in a huff, refusing to let him go. Sehun protested multiple times but he went unheard. This was far too normal for him. He hated seeing his family fight, but he could never make them stop. It left a pit in his chest that only seemed to grow with every fight._

_Eventually Jongdae cooled off enough to let Sehun go. They started to joke around and lighten up the mood. It was fun being at school after hours. It was almost totally empty. Some students had a habit of staying after hours but the school was large enough to easily avoid anyone. So, it was as if the two brothers had the world to themselves. They messed around with each other and talked about classmates free of fear. Sehun decided it was worth losing a little bit of time sitting in silence with their father to have fun with his older brother._

_They wound up just about as far from their father’s office as they could get. A strange sound pierced the air. They both froze, going silent._

_“What was that?” Sehun asked._

_“A… gunshot?” Jongdae mumbled, staring up at the ceiling. “That was a gunshot!”_

_“Are you-” Sehun’s words were cut off by the sound going off twice more._

_They looked at each other. Slowly, the situation began to dawn on them. Jongdae was quicker to react. He took off towards the stairs._

_“Where are you going?” Sehun ran after him. “Jongdae!”_

_“I don’t know for sure where it came from,” Jongdae called back. “It might- it might have come from…”_

_He didn’t need to finish his thought, Sehun understood. He ran even faster, passing his brother. Sehun’s heart pounded in his ears horrible scenarios played in his head. Sehun could see himself standing next to his brother, watching as their father was laid to rest with their mother. They would be alone._

_He reached the office first, for a moment, he hesitated. He was utterly terrified of what might be on the other side of the door. Jongdae pushed past him and flung the door open. The room was empty._

_“Father?” Sehun called, looking around. “Where is he?”_

_Jongdae clenched his fists. “He must have already left.”_

_“What? He wouldn’t go without us.” Sehun said._

_“Come on,” Jongdae turned. “It’s not safe, we need to get out of here.”_

_Sehun wanted to argue, but he was terrified. He followed his brother back down the stairs. They ran out the closest emergency exit. The two of them made their way around to the front of the building. Sehun felt like his legs were going to give out. Four students stood in the parking lot. Baekhyun was there. He looked petrified. As the two of them approached, sirens wailed in the distance. Sehun grabbed Jongdae’s arm, trying to remain upright._

_“Where is he?” Sehun whispered. “He’s not here.”_

_Jongdae didn’t say anything. The police pulled into the parking lot. They got out and started talking to the other students. Sehun and Jongdae stood a little ways away, watching._

_“Jongdae,” Sehun was trembling, but his brother looked angry._

_The front doors flew open. Their father stepped out. He looked around and made eye contact with his sons. Sehun felt a wave of relief. Their father headed over to one of the police officers._

_“Where was he?” Jongdae mumbled._

_Sehun didn’t care, as long as he was alright._

 

 

Sehun shrugged. “That’s about it.”

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo said.

“Yeah, no problem.” Sehun leaned back. “Is that all?”

“No,” Kyungsoo closed the notebook.

         Sehun raised his eyebrows. He seemed a little more on edge.

“Hm?” He sat up again.

“Where’s your brother?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Oh,” Sehun laughed. “Come here.”

          He stood and walked over to a door almost hidden by some bookshelves. Kyungsoo followed him. He opened the door into what Kyungsoo assumed was a little conference room. The lights were all off. On top of the large table in the middle of the room was a strange mass. It shifted as the light from the door poured into the room.

“Mmg,” It groaned. “Sehun, just give me a few more minutes. Then I’ll be out of your hair, hm?”

“Get up,” Sehun walked over and gave the mass a shove. “There’s someone to see you.”

           A messy haired man popped up out of the mass of blankets. He squinted at Kyungsoo for a few seconds.

“What? Who?” He started untangling himself.

“Your brother is even more unrecognizable than you were,” Kyungsoo smiled a little.

 “People change, I guess.” Sehun smirked. “But Jongdae hasn’t really changed all that much.”

“Are you talking smack?” Jongdae slid off the table.

       Sehun chuckled. It seemed that Jongdae was doing considerably worse than his brother in terms of money. He was dressed pretty shabbily. He looked Kyungsoo up and down, trying to process him.

“My name is Do Kyungsoo,” Kyungsoo said. “Do you remember-”

“Oh, I remember.” Jongdae cut him off, his whole demeanor changing the instant Kyungsoo said his name. “You’re the kid who got falsely accused of murder.”

“Falsely?” Sehun stared at his brother.

“Right?” Jongdae didn’t look at Sehun.

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo nodded slowly.

 

 

          Jongdae’s story was nearly identical to Sehun’s. They only differed in their portrayal of their father. It seemed Jongdae practically hated him. Kyungsoo watched him carefully as he spoke, writing down only the differences in their stories. When Jongdae finished he scooted forward in the chair he was sitting in.

“But that’s not really what’s important.” He said.

Kyungsoo continued to look down at the notebook, finishing up his thoughts. “What do you mean?”

“I know who the killer is.”

        Kyungsoo’s eyes snapped up, but the rest of him remained frozen.

“What?” He said slowly.

“Jongdae-” Sehun sounded upset.

“Drop it, Sehun!” Jongdae sighed and looked into Kyungsoo’s eyes with determination. “The killer is our father. I’m sure of it.”


	12. King of the Broken

      Crystal white buildings. Deep green trees, motionless in the wind. Pristine cars neatly lined up in their spots. Even the clouds did not dare deprive this place of it’s sunlight. In a world that thrived on chaos, only one thing stood between a person and such perfect orderliness: money.

      Kyungsoo hated every second he spent in that paper and plastic neighborhood. He felt like a rat that had crawled into a king’s bedroom. He did everything he could to hide his face from their glossy eyes. But he hated being there for more than feeling humiliated, he hated the jealousy building in his chest. These peoples’ lives were not perfect. But they were just about as close to perfect as life would allow.

      Ahead of him, two men stood waiting. One of them fit in comfortably with these surroundings, the other seemed trapped in them. Kyungsoo slowed down in front of them, nodding politely.

“I told him we were coming,” Sehun said, returning the nod.

“Did you tell him why?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Well, um, no.” Sehun glanced at his brother. “I didn’t really know what to say.”

“C’mon, we can tell him face to face,” Jongdae pulled open the front doors.

       Kyungsoo followed the two of them into the building. The air that greeted him was sickening. It was thick with perfume. It was an indescribable smell, seemingly because it was not at all based in reality. It was a scent built in a factory. They put all the sorts of smells humans generally professed to like into one bottle, thusly ruining all of them. Kyungsoo held his breath and kept his eyes trained on the floor beneath him, subsequently burning the carpet pattern into his skull.

         After walking half a marathon, Kyungsoo heard the sound of doors being opened. He raised his eyes. He was surprised by the sight before him. It was a surprisingly intimately decorated room. It was by no means cheap looking, but it certainly wasn’t modern or “penthouse-ish” furniture. Things weren’t as pristine or dollhouse-like as the outside. It was a breath of fresh air, literally, considering it smelled like someone was able to pick a single perfume.

“Oh,” A man stood up from one of the couches, a soft smile spreading across his face. “Welcome home boys.”

 Sehun returned the warm expression tenfold. “Hello, Dad.”

         Jongdae less so. Their father set down the book he had been holding and walked over to them. He pulled Sehun into a bear hug, chuckling. He had very round yet defined features for someone his age. It seemed time had been kind to him. He let Sehun go and turned to his other son. Jongdae didn’t even look him in the eyes. His smile fell. Instead, he turned to Kyungsoo.

“Do Kyungsoo, yes?” He stepped towards him.

“Yes,” Kyungsoo bowed. “Sir, I’ve come to talk to you about _that_ day. I know this is absurd of me to say, but I didn’t kill anyone. Please, suspend your disbelief and talk to me.”

“You don’t need to be so formal,” He said. “You’re a friend of my sons, hm? You can call me Junmyeon.”

“Friend?” Kyungsoo grimaced slightly.

“And I never thought a child could be capable of that.” Junmyeon turned towards the couches, beckoning the other three to follow.

“Then you’re naïve.” Kyungsoo muttered.

         Junmyeon and Sehun sat down next to each other, Kyungsoo and Jongdae sat across from them. Everyone in the room could feel the thick atmosphere except Junmyeon, or perhaps he chose to ignore it. Kyungsoo had never truly interacted with the principal before. His entire perception of the man had been built up through rumors and brief meetings. And that perception could not have been further from what he was seeing then. He seemed genuinely happy to have his sons home, even going so far as to crack jokes, to which Sehun was the only one to laugh at only out of politeness. He seemed mostly like a dork. Still, something about this unsettled Kyungsoo. At some point, Junmyeon gave up on trying to start a conversation with the two across from him and just spoke to Sehun.

“So, did you get my messenger?” He asked.

Sehun’s smile faltered. “Yes, I did. But I told him the same thing I’ve been telling you.”

“Oh, Sehun.” Junmyeon sighed. “You’re doing well thus far, and I really am proud of you but… you really can’t expect that career to be suitable for you-”

“Father.” Jongdae finally spoke. “Isn’t this a family topic?”

“Oh,” Junmyeon glanced at Kyungsoo. “I suppose so. I’m sorry, I kind of derailed things, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did.” Jongdae said.

“Well, what was it you wanted to talk about Kyungsoo?” Junmyeon asked.

Kyungsoo sat forward. “All I ask is that you tell me what happened that day to the best of your recollection.”

 

“There’s not much to say.” Junmyeon leaned back. “I heard gunshots. So, I went around the school and tried to help evacuate any students or teachers still in the building.”

“What kind of crap is that?” Jongdae exploded.

         Silence fell over everyone. Sehun nervously looked between his brother and father. Junmyeon’s entire demeanor changed. He looked at his eldest son sternly, yet somewhat sadly.

“I was looking for you and your brother too, Jongdae.” He said.

         Jongdae scoffed. Kyungsoo was starting to find himself getting aggravated. He ignored Jongdae and turned to Junmyeon.

“Did you see anyone?” Kyungsoo asked.

Junmyeon pulled his eyes away from his son. “…No. I didn’t find anyone.”

“Alright then,” Kyungsoo stood and began walking to the door.

“Wha- Where are you-” Jongdae rose after him.

“If he’s going to lie to me with zero proof or sincerity, then this is a waste of my time.” Kyungsoo pulled the doors open.

 

 

             Kyungsoo got quite far before the two brothers caught up to him. He was sick and tired of people lying to him. He was tired of playing mind games with everyone he spoke to. He was tired of everyone, everything, he just wanted to find peace. But more and more that seemed impossible. He wasn’t sure he had ever felt peace. Maybe it wasn’t even real. That terrified him.

“Hey, wait!” Sehun caught up to him, grabbing a hold of his sleeve.

Jongdae stepped in front of him, smiling. “You saw that didn’t you? It’s obvious he-”

“What I saw was a dead end.” Kyungsoo cut him off. “I’m sorry but I have more potent things to investigate right now.”

“‘More potent’?” Jongdae furrowed his brow.

“I’ll contact you if I need anything else.” Kyungsoo stepped around him.

“Kyungsoo, wait!” Jongdae said.

“Jongdae, just let it go, please.” Sehun pulled him back gently.

          Let it go, just let it go. Those words pulled at Kyungsoo. He wanted to let it go. He was afraid to let it go. He couldn’t let it go. He needed to let it go. Were any of those true? He didn’t know what was right to feel anymore.

“No!” Jongdae yelled after him. “You can’t just waltz up to us saying you want justice for that day and then walk away when the truth doesn’t immediately reveal itself!”

“What am I supposed to do?” Kyungsoo spun around, everything bubbling over. “It was seven years ago! How am I supposed to find Justice? All anyone does is lie! The whole world is my enemy.”

Jongdae clenched his fists. “Let me help you.”

“What?” Kyungsoo’s breath caught in his throat.

“Let me help you catch the killer.” Jongdae said. “I know how I must look to you, a pathetic rich kid mooching off his younger brother, but I can help you. I know things that you don’t, ways of finding information. I swear I can help you. I will help you.”

“Jongdae,” Sehun tried to read his brother’s face. “You really trust him?”

“Of course.” Jongdae said. “I know what a killer looks like. Kyungsoo didn’t kill them.”

“Then,” Sehun looked at Kyungsoo, determination growing. “I’ll help you too.”

        Kyungsoo stared at them, mouth open ajar. His vision blurred for a moment. A desire that he had been desperately fighting to contain surged within him. It blinded his anger and let him consider their offer. Their connections could be useful. Their second opinion could be both dangerous and revealing. Dangerous, it was far too dangerous to agree. But danger was necessary to find peace. He couldn’t trust them, but he didn’t need to trust them to use them, did he?


	13. Only Fragments

      The whole world is different under the cover of darkness. All of its eccentricities that are seen in the light become concealed. Everything seems simpler when it is deep into the night. There is nothing to see, nothing but darkness. There is nothing to worry about, all burdens are hidden beneath night’s cloak. Many people are afraid of the dark. They believe it turns the world into the unknown. But Kyungsoo loved the dark. It turns the world into the completely understandable. When it became dark, and his eyes could no longer see, everything ceased to exist. Everything but him.

          But tonight, the street lights reminded him that the world still lived on. And so did all of his troubles. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but wonder if he had made a mistake agreeing to let Sehun and Jongdae work with him. And something bothered him about Junmyeon. But still, Junmyeon was not a priority, and the brothers were quickly trying to make him become one. They had Kyungsoo out, late into the night, to investigate him. Kyungsoo would have preferred to be investigating his biggest suspect. Or rather, deciding who the biggest suspect was.

“Perhaps… you?” Kyungsoo muttered to himself.

         His train of thought was interrupted by a car pulling up to the curb. It was a nice car. It had to be those two. The back window rolled down and Sehun leaned out to wave Kyungsoo over. Kyungsoo stepped off the side walk and pulled the door open. Sehun moved over and Kyungsoo climbed in. Jongdae didn’t bother turning around to look at Kyungsoo, he just pulled away from the curb as soon as the door closed.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Sehun said, trying to break the silence.

“Only a few days,” Kyungsoo said. “I assume you haven’t made any progress?”

“Not really,” Sehun shrugged. “I think we’ll get somewhere tonight though.”

“Isn’t there any one close to your Father who might know something?” Kyungsoo asked.

Sehun looked down slightly. “We’re all he’s got.”

“What about your mother?” The question left Kyungsoo’s mouth before he really had a chance to think about it.

“She died when I was very young, a long time ago.” Sehun avoided Kyungsoo’s eyes. “So, she doesn’t have anything to do with this.”

“Oh, I see.” Kyungsoo looked out the window. “I won’t ask again.”

          The conversation ended as they pulled into the parking lot. Gradually, they pulled closer to that building. It’s worn bricks and foggy windows taunted them with memories. The car slowed to a stop. None of them moved to get out. Even the darkness could not cover that burden. The highschool remained there, ever present. Jongdae opened his door.

“Come on,” He said.

           The three of them approached their old school slowly. Painful memories surfaced. Kyungsoo closed his eyes, unwilling to let it overwhelm him.

“Never thought I’d ever come back here,” Jongdae said. “Things were pretty awful after that day. The atmosphere at school was absolutely suffocating. You have no idea how badly I wanted to leave this school, but Father wouldn’t let me. He said we ‘shouldn’t bend to fear’.”

“He really was doing his best back then,” Sehun said, a wistful expression on his face.

“To torture us maybe,” Jongdae muttered, climbing the stairs and pulling the doors open.

        Sehun didn’t move, the comment clearly upsetting him. Kyungsoo couldn’t get his legs to bring him any closer to those doors. He didn’t feel afraid, just… sick. Jongdae looked back at the two of them, apparently misinterpreting their hesitance.

“Come on, don’t be nervous.” He said. “There’s no way anyone’s here at this hour.”

         Sehun rolled his eyes and grabbed Kyungsoo’s arm, pulling him through the doors. The two of them walked side by side, Jongdae far in the lead. He seemed all too anxious to get to the storage room. Sehun looked around the school with an almost nostalgic expression. But these halls were not the ones Kyungsoo had known so well. Everything seemed to have been renovated. The sick feeling in his stomach lessened.

“You know,” Sehun said, quietly enough for his brother not to hear. “Dad tried so hard to rebuild after that day. I’m sure you can tell, but he made a lot of improvements to the building. He tried to improve the policies too. Isn’t that wonderful? I really admire him.”

“Your brother doesn’t seem to,” Kyungsoo said, looking ahead at Jongdae.

Sehun sighed. “I know. They haven’t had a good relationship for as long as I can remember. I hate it. I wish they could get along. But it seems like no matter what Dad does, Jongdae misunderstands him. Dad has been nothing but kind and wonderful to me... if not a little controlling at times.”

“Controlling?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Well, he wants me to quit my job. He says a studio isn’t a ‘prestigious’ job.” Sehun laughed, somewhat dejectedly. “Stupid, right? But, I know he’s only doing it out of love. He really does just want the best for us.”

“Of course,” Kyungsoo said, more so out of courtesy than anything.

“I trust Jongdae, more than you can imagine, but…” Sehun looked at his brother. “Our father would never kill anyone. I want to help you Kyungsoo, really. I wouldn’t be here at this hour if I didn’t. So, once we clear up Dad’s name with Jongdae, I’ll do everything I can to catch the real killer.”

“I see,” Kyungsoo felt no comfort from those words.

       At last, they reached the storage room. Jongdae pulled the door open, revealing the room full of files. They all stepped inside the dark little room. Sehun flicked on the light, immediately blinding them. After his eyes adjusted, Kyungsoo glanced around at the different labels.

“I’ll look through the through financial papers, you two look through student and teacher records.” He said, pulling open one of the filing cabinets.

       The three of them worked in silence, the only sound to fill the room was that of papers shuffling. Kyungsoo’s eyelids grew heavier with every passing second. Every blink was a bet that his eyes would open again. Still, he tried to focus on the task at hand. Progress was slow, and he was no expert in finances, but he pushed forward. He couldn’t help but jump when a gasp sounded from the other side of the room.

“Hey, come ‘ere.” Sehun motioned for the other two to come over. “Look, I found some class photos.”

         Sehun laid out the pictures of smiling faces. Some were recent, filled with students none of them recognized. But some of them were old, filled with all too familiar faces. Kyungsoo picked one up gently. His own smiling face stared back at him, young and lighthearted. Three ghosts stood beside him. Kyungsoo slipped the photo into his pocket.

        He crossed back to the other side of the room. He picked up were he left off, eyes fully open. The endless meaningless numbers flitted past, speaking no real information to him. Then, a voice made him freeze. One of the papers spoke to him. A record of donations in the year 2010. The year Kyungsoo was turned into a murderer.

“I found something,” Kyungsoo said.

          The two brothers rushed over. They leaned over his shoulder to read the paper. It took them only a few seconds to discern its message.

“The donations,” Jongdae muttered. “They really spiked after that day, didn’t they?”

“Tragedy brings sympathy, sympathy brings restlessness. And when people get restless, they give money.” Kyungsoo said. “Right?”

“Of course,” Sehun said, stepping back. “That’s only natural, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it’s only natural,” Jongdae gritted his teeth. “He had to have known it’s only natural.”

“In the end,” Kyungsoo clenched the paper so tightly it began to wrinkle. “He profited from it, didn’t he?”

“What…” Sehun looked between the two of them. “What are you saying?”

“We’re saying he killed them for money,” Jongdae said, venom in his tone.

“You can’t be serious!” Sehun grabbed his brother’s arm. “He isn’t that greedy, Jongdae.”

Jongdae ripped his arm away. “You don’t have any idea what you’re talking about!”

“Stop it!” Sehun screamed. “Just stop it! Why are you being like this? Why do you keep attacking him?”

“I know you haven’t seen it, Sehun. But he isn’t a good person, believe me, he isn’t.” Jongdae said.

“That’s enough!” Kyungsoo yelled, instantly silencing both of them. “You’re acting like children.”

           Kyungsoo pushed past the two of them. He was too tired to deal with them. And he had already wasted enough precious minutes in that horrible building. He got to the exit in half the time the first trip had taken. Before he could open the doors, the other two caught up to him.

“Kyungsoo-” Jongdae started.

“We’re done working together.” Kyungsoo said, coldly. “Thank you for your help but it’s run its course. That paper isn’t proof of anything but the fact that he profited from tragedy, Jongdae. But it isn’t nothing, Sehun. You keep saying you want to help me catch the killer, but you’re both obviously too biased for that.”

“No, we’re not,” Jongdae sounded like he didn’t believe it himself. “We do want to catch him, whether it’s my Father or not.”

Kyungsoo stared at him. "Then stop investigating your Father.”

“W-what?” Jongdae stumbled over his words in shock.

“If you really want to catch him, help me investigate the others.” Kyungsoo said. “Let your Father be for now.”

       Jongdae stared at Kyungsoo, mouth slightly open. Kyungsoo studied him carefully. He refused to be used as a tool for Jongdae’s childish revenge scheme. If they really cared, the next moments would prove that.

“Alright,” Jongdae said. “I’ll drop it for now.”

“And I’ll keep my promise, Kyungsoo.” Sehun said, nodding.

         Something inside Kyungsoo cracked. He looked away from them, afraid that something would break. He hated it, but he would keep his word. He would keep them around for now.

“Well, then.” Kyungsoo pushed the door open. “We’ll be in touch. I can walk home from here.”

            He didn’t look back at them or the building as he walked away. He was all too eager to get home. So, he couldn’t help but sigh when he heard Jongdae running up to him. He turned around. Jongdae had a determined look on his face.

“What?” Kyungsoo asked.

“There’s something you need to understand,” Jongdae’s breath was shaking. “You’ve only really met our Father once, right?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo said.

“Maybe you think, from what you’ve seen, he doesn’t seem like a killer. You’re wrong. My mother, the most wonderful woman I’ve ever known… he killed her.” Jongdae blinked back tears. “He watched her die like she didn’t even matter. She meant nothing to him. Your friends meant nothing to him. Sehun and I… mean nothing to him. Human life means nothing to him. He doesn’t have a soul, Kyungsoo. I know it was him. Only a monster like him could do something like that.”

 

 

         Kyungsoo’s eyes opened. For a moment, he didn’t know why he’d been pulled from his all too rare sleep. Then when the sound of the doorbell repeated, he understood. Reluctantly, he rolled off the couch. His sleep seemed to do little to cure his tiredness from the long night before, despite him sleeping until the afternoon. As he approached the door, he could only suspect two people. Surely, the people responsible for waking him, were the same two idiots who kept him up the night before. He was none too thrilled to see them again.

“What?” Kyungsoo said, rather harshly, as he opened the door. “Oh, what are you doing here?”

Chanyeol raised the two plastic bags he was holding. “Is it alright if I come in for a bit?”


	14. Silver Tooth

        There is no such thing as meaningless kindness. Kyungsoo watched as Chanyeol set the two plastic bags down on his kitchen counter. After Kyungsoo had stopped responding to his texts, it seemed that Chanyeol had given up on trying to reconnect with his childhood friend. Chanyeol opened the bags, pulling out a few white cardboard boxes. The swirling text and crisp picture of the front revealed them to be _Ace Chocolato_. A small sigh escaped Kyungsoo’s mouth. Even just seeing those boxes brought back memories.

“Baekhyun wanted me to give these to you." Chanyeol said, setting the final box on the counter.

           Kyungsoo walked over to the counter and picked one of them up. He felt a twinge of some unknown feeling in his heart. He didn’t like it. Chanyeol had a melancholic smile on his face.

"You used to love those, didn't you?" He said, pointing at the box Kyungsoo was holding.

Kyungsoo stared at the box. "Do you want them?"

"What?" Chanyeol raised his eyebrows.

"I don't really like sweets anymore." Kyungsoo handed the box to Chanyeol.

"Oh, sure. I guess I could take a few." Chanyeol laughed a little. “But I think Baekhyun went a little over board in the quantity department. Even I don’t think I could eat this many.”

Kyungsoo walked back over to his couch and sat down. “Why did he give them to you?”

“Oh, well that’s…” Chanyeol scratched the back of his head. “He’s not exactly over what happened before. He hasn’t really been himself.”

           Kyungsoo stared at the floor in front of him. He almost felt guilty for not feeling any guilt, pity, or compassion towards Baekhyun. But it felt far more reassuring, that, despite recent events, his walls of doubt hadn’t begun to crumble. He couldn’t afford to let that happen.

“He asked me what kind of foods you liked. He wanted to… ask for forgiveness I suppose.” Chanyeol sighed. “But I guess I was using outdated information. He couldn’t work up the courage to bring it to you himself, so here I am.”

“How did you know where I live?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Well, I remembered you used to live here all those years ago. I guess I just kinda assumed you’d still be here. I knocked on quite a few doors before I got to yours though.” Chanyeol said. “So, uh, I haven’t really eaten anything today. Is it alright if I, um…”

            Chanyeol pointed a bit sheepishly at one of the boxes. Kyungsoo shrugged. Eventually the awkward crinkling of Chanyeol struggling to open the box was the only sound to fill the room. Kyungsoo was still awfully tired from the night before. He was sick of being around other people.

“So, um, I think I might’ve annoyed you with all those texts before. And I don’t mean to ask too many questions but I’m just really curious.” Chanyeol said, still in the midst of eating. “If you don’t mind me asking, who do you suspect at the moment?”

Kyungsoo met Chanyeol’s eyes. “You.”

Chanyeol’s eyes grew big and he choked on the food in his mouth. “Me? W-what? Why?”

           Kyungsoo didn’t respond. He didn’t break eye contact. He just watched Chanyeol carefully. Chanyeol looked away under his gaze. His expression changed from surprised and confused to despondent.

“I-I think I get it.” He lowered his head far enough for his hair to cover his eyes. “We don’t really know each other anymore, do we?”

         Kyungsoo’s eyes drifted out his window. He could see the little playground the two of them had once ruled over. Fuzzy smiles and games to which he had long forgotten the rules flitted through his mind. But those memories may as well have belonged to another person. They were so distant, so disjointed from the person he was now they were meaningless to him. He didn’t remember why Chanyeol and he had stopped being friends, but it didn’t matter now.

           But everything about this situation aggravated Kyungsoo. He hated that Chanyeol had come here on Baekhyun’s behalf, to try and win his forgiveness with some stupid snack. That he was trying to pry his way back into Kyungsoo’s life when he had been absent from it for so long. That he would even dare to pretend like he cared. Too many people tried to play off their actions as meaningless kindness. But there is no such thing as meaningless kindness.

          Kyungsoo stood up. He walked over to the countered and began shoving the boxes back into the plastic bags. Chanyeol turned to look at him, his eyes ever so slightly red. Kyungsoo slammed the bags against his chest so violently he almost knocked the wind out of him.

“Get out.” Kyungsoo said callously.

           Chanyeol stared at him, mouth open for several seconds. Kyungsoo got tired of waiting and started pushing him towards the door. Chanyeol was much taller than him, but Kyungsoo had little trouble overpowering him. Perhaps because of the anger piling in his chest or because Chanyeol wasn’t really fighting back. But he did cry out in protest. Still, Kyungsoo managed to push him to the door. As he struggled to open it, Chanyeol grabbed his arm.

“Wait!” He said. “Why are you being like this? I just want to-”

“I don’t trust you!” Kyungsoo ripped his arm away. “I don’t trust any of you. If I did I would be an idiot.”

          Chanyeol closed his mouth slowly, unable to respond. His eyes lowered. The two of them stood there in silence. Chanyeol bent down and picked up his shoes. When he straightened up again, he met Kyungsoo’s eyes.

“Just… keep yourself safe, okay? Don’t do anything too risky.” Chanyeol forced a little smile.

          He turned away and stepped through the door. Kyungsoo quickly closed it behind him. He leaned against the door. For a reason he could never say, tears started to slip down his face. He clenched his fists and wished them away. The cracks within him deepened. Outside he heard a soft thud and the sound of Chanyeol walking away. Kyungsoo opened the door slowly. One of the plastic bags sat at his feet. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

                                      They just wouldn’t leave him alone.


	15. Break Down

        They just wouldn’t leave him alone. Kyungsoo sprinted down the street, clutching his phone in his hand. Sehun and Jongdae were waiting for him. He’d slept for far too long. And time had a way of chugging forward whether you were aware of it or not. Time was the one force one could count on never stop moving. In some ways, this brought Kyungsoo comfort; no painful moment could last forever, no matter how long it seemed to last, it had to end. But in many more ways it only served to irritate him; time was always slipping through his hands. No happy moment could last forever.

          As Kyungsoo neared the convenience store, he slowed down his pace, even taking a moment to steady his breathing. When Sehun and Jongdae saw him approaching they stood up from the plastic seats they’d been sitting in. Apparently, outside an old convenience store was the perfect meeting place to discuss important things to them. Sehun smiled at Kyungsoo so fondly it almost seemed as if he had missed him. Jongdae, on the other hand, had a very determined look on his face. It didn’t suit him.

“Sorry for being late,” Kyungsoo said, coming to a stop in front of the table.

“It’s alright,” Sehun said, sitting back down alongside the other two.

“You know why we asked you to come here, right?” Jongdae leaned on the table.

Kyungsoo sighed and looked away from him. “You want to know what I know.”

        They both nodded, watching him expectantly. Kyungsoo almost stood up and left right then and there. He knew it was unreasonable, but he hated the idea of sharing any information with them. He would have to trust them, if only a little. Let them in, if only a little. Every alarm bell built within himself was going off, it was utterly deafening. He closed his eyes and tried to make them stop. If he was to proceed with any certainty of success, he needed to share just a little.

“I’ve interviewed everyone who was there that day,” Kyungsoo finally spoke.

“What did they say?” Sehun asked.

Kyungsoo pulled a photo out of his pocket and pointed to one of the faces. “Kim Jongin, he fell asleep in the bathroom after crying for a while.”

“Why was he crying?” Jongdae asked.

Kyungsoo shrugged. “The gunshots woke him up. He ran into Baekhyun at the top of the stairs as he left.” He pointed to another face. “Byun Baekhyun, he had left the school, but he returned to apologize to me-”

“Apologize to you? For what?” Jongdae asked.

“Jongdae, stop interrupting,” Sehun said, obviously invested in what Kyungsoo was saying.

“He ran into Jongin at the top of the stairs and then went to investigate. He saw me running away the gun. He saw th-them lying on the...” Kyungsoo cleared his throat. “He ran out and called the police.” He pointed to another boy. “Kim Minseok, he met up with two boys behind the school to discuss a robbery.”

        Sehun glanced at his brother with wide eyes. Jongdae seemed to see it as no surprise.

“When they heard the gunshots they all panicked and ran. Minseok saw me then went around to the front to investigate. He told the police he thought I was the killer. Zhang Yixing, he was doodling in his notebook after school. He took a walk to clear his head and heard the gunshots. He saw Baekhyun and Jongin run into each other. After seeing Baekhyun run away in fear, he followed him. Park Chanyeol, he stayed at school after a meeting with a teacher to search for his lost hat. He ran out of the building as soon as he heard the first shots. Kim Junmyeon, he walked through the school looking to evacuate students and teachers. He couldn’t find anyone, so he left.”

      At the mere mention of their father’s name, the atmosphere changed. Sehun grimaced and looked thoroughly displeased that his father was even being included on the list. Jongdae leaned forward, hanging on Kyungsoo’s every word as if they no doubt held the key. Kyungsoo paused for a moment and the two of them sat back as if they considered the conversation over. But the list was incomplete. Kyungsoo continued.

 “Kim Sehun and Kim Jongdae,” Sehun and Jongdae glanced at each other. “They were walking through the halls together when they heard the shots. They rushed to their father’s office first. But when they couldn’t find him they left.”

“Why did you include us?” Sehun asked. “We know what we told you.”

          Kyungsoo didn’t answer. But Jongdae seemed to understand the message perfectly. His solemn and determined expression only deepened. Sehun looked between the two of them. Realizing he wasn’t getting an answer, he looked down at the photo. He pursed his lips.

“Are you sure that’s everyone?” He asked, not looking up from the photo.

          Kyungsoo tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows. Jongdae once again took something from what was said that one of them missed. He looked aggravated by what Sehun said.

“Sehun, you know no one else was there.” Jongdae said, through almost gritted teeth.

“Oh, sorry.” Sehun looked at his brother, then the ground. “It was a stupid question.”

       He practically mumbled the last part. Kyungsoo looked between the two of them for a moment before sighing. The two of them took this as a sign that he had given them all the information he was going to.

“How do you want to proceed from here?” Jongdae asked.

“Well, I-” Kyungsoo stopped himself.

         He didn’t really know where to go now. How does one find evidence for such a cold case? Jongdae sat up straight, apparently brimming with the answers for that questions.

“We should interview family and friends,” Jongdae said.

“‘We’?” Kyungsoo quirked an eyebrow.

“Yeah, ‘we’,” Sehun said, indignantly.

“Do you know how to reach their friends and family?” Kyungsoo asked.

         Jongdae smiled. He picked a folder up from beside him and placed it on the table in front of Kyungsoo. His expression had changed, for the first time that day, to a smug one. He was obviously proud of the work that had gone into finding this information. But Kyungsoo had little interest in how he had gotten it. After all, Jongdae had “ways of finding information” that Kyungsoo didn’t know. Kyungsoo picked the folder up.

“We should go as soon as possible then,” Kyungsoo said. “Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow is a bit…” Sehun scratched the back of his neck. “The day after that maybe?”

“Alright,” Kyungsoo stood up. “I’ll contact you about the details.”

“Oh, wait!” Sehun reached out his hand. “Can I ask you one more thing?”

“What?” Kyungsoo was a little taken aback.

“That photo,” Sehun pointed at the photo still lying on the table. “Isn’t it the one I found at the school? Why did you keep it?”

       Kyungsoo heart dipped a little as he looked at the photo. He scooped it up from the table. He looked at the two of them for a moment, giving a little parting bow before turning away. He walked a little slower than he intended. At some point his feet just stopped moving. He didn’t look behind him. He was unsure if he was out of their earshot or not, but he didn’t care.

“I miss them.”


	16. Hold Your Piece

      The sun was completely concealed by clouds, doing exactly what Kyungsoo wanted to do, hiding from people. Kyungsoo’s pace was by no means a leisurely stroll, but he found himself in no particular rush to get to their designated meeting spot. But he found his own reservations frustrating. When he saw that all too familiar car in the distance, he made an effort to seem more eager about their task.

         Something about the pretense that they could be murderers had made Kyungsoo more confident than otherwise when interviewing the suspects. But today, they were going to be talking to, as far as they knew, completely innocent people, the suspects’ family and friends. People who, if they recognized Kyungsoo, would surely only know one thing about him: he killed three students. But their information could be invaluable. Because sometimes, the people closest to you know things about yourself that you could never hope to notice on your own. And they were going to exploit that all at once frustrating yet beautiful fact.

 

 

       The first few names in the folder Jongdae had given Kyungsoo had either not answered or hung up within the first ten seconds of not recognizing them. But at last someone willing to listen to their cover story had been found. And soon after, many more followed suit.

       The three of them pulled up to their meeting place, anxieties in hand. Kyungsoo looped his face mask over his ears. Sehun and Jongdae both got out notepads. Sehun handed Kyungsoo a, far too expensive looking, camera to use as a prop.

“Here,” He said. “You be our photographer.”

        Kyungsoo took the camera reluctantly. He had never in his life used any kind of camera, especially not one like that. They all climbed out of the car. They were an odd-looking trio, a very well dressed younger man and a very not well dressed older man, both carrying tacky looking notepads, and a man with a face mask holding a very expensive camera like he was terrified of pushing the wrong button and breaking it. The two men sitting outside the coffee shop seemed to take note of this and find it very amusing. And somehow, Kyungsoo couldn’t help but find it amusing too. He let out a little snort when he caught sight of them in one of the store windows. His two comrades glanced over at him in surprise. Kyungsoo shook the feeling off and ignored them. They approached the table the two men sat at.

“Are you guys the ones who called me?” One of them asked.

“Yes, we are,” Sehun said.

“You’re from a news website?” The younger man looked them up and down, an unimpressed look on his face.

“Yeah,” Jongdae pulled out one of the chairs and sat down. “Thank you for speaking to us, Mr. Park.”

The first one laughed. “‘Mr. Park’? We’re like the same age. Just call me Hyungsik.”

       Sehun took the other chair, which was fine with Kyungsoo. He didn’t think he could sit even if he wanted to. The younger man sighed, glancing at Hyungsik as if to ask if they were still going to talk to them. Hyungsik gave a little shrug.

“Well then, I’m Choi Wooshik,” He said.

“We went to the same highschool, so I thought I’d bring him along,” Hyungsik said.

Sehun shrugged. “That’s alright. The more information the better.”

       Jongdae looked over his shoulder at Kyungsoo, giving him a little nod. It was showtime. Gently, Kyungsoo began pretending to take pictures, watching both of their facial expressions very closely as they talked. Sehun and Jongdae both started taking notes.

“I’ll cut to the chase,” Jongdae leaned forward towards Hyungsik, eyes penetrating. “Were you there that day?”

“Nah,” Hyungsik shook his head. “But a friend of mine was, so I heard about it from him. Otherwise I wouldn’t feel confident enough to talk to you.”

“Was it kept pretty under the radar?” Sehun asked.

“Are you kidding?” Wooshik scoffed. “They wouldn’t tell us anything! So, of course our imaginations ran wild.”

“What did your friend tell you?” Jongdae asked. “Why was he there that day?”

“Well, he’d gotten into a really bad fight with his girlfriend.” Hyungsik said.

          Kyungsoo tightened his grip around the camera. The mention of his sister made his stomach sink. Hyungsik leaned forward, a vexed expression on his face. He didn’t seem too comfortable gossiping about one of his friends in front of another.

“They almost never fought so it really messed him up,” Hyungsik spoke in a low tone. “He was crying so much in the bathroom and for so long he fell asleep. He woke up when the guns went off. And when he checked outside the bathroom, he saw something.”

Jongdae perked up. “He saw something?”

Hyungsik sighed. “Well, the day it happened, I went over to his house to check on him. He hadn’t really spoken much with the police at that point. But when we were alone together, I was saying how it was good that he didn’t see any dead bodies or anything. He said he thought he saw something worse. He wouldn’t elaborate and seemed to regret telling me that. He never said anything about it to the police so maybe he lied or something…”

       Hyungsik trailed off. Kyungsoo’s hands were trembling.

“So, his story changed?” Jongdae said, a smirk on his face.

“I’ll say it did!” Wooshik said, sitting up. “He told me he was walking through the halls when it happened.”

“And this is Kim Jongin we’re talking about, yes?” Sehun asked.

“Wha-” Hyungsik’s eyebrows shot up. “How did you…”

“Is there anything else of note?” Jongdae asked, shooting Sehun an irked looked.

“Wait, how did you know who our friend was?” Wooshik leaned forward, getting a much more serious expression. “No students’ names were released to the public. How did you even find Hyungsik? Who are you?”

“Wooshik-” Hyungsik started.

“No, this is really sketchy.” Wooshik glared at Kyungsoo. “Stop taking pictures, you creep. Why are you wearing a mask?”

Sehun stood up. “Well, thank you for your cooperation. It was very helpful.”

      Jongdae stood reluctantly. Kyungsoo gave an apologetic bow and grabbed both of them by the arm. They rushed back to the car. Breathing a sigh of relief once they got back in, away from prying and judging eyes.

“Real smooth, Sehun,” Jongdae said, turning the car on.

“What? We gotta be specific,” Sehun said, defensively.

“No, it’s alright.” Kyungsoo took of his mask. “We got what we needed.”

 

 

      The three of them stood in front of a soft blue and grey brick home, silently urging each other to ring the doorbell. Finally, Kyungsoo stepped forward and bit the bullet. For some time, they waited there, wondering if they should leave. Finally, they heard the front door open, and a moment later the gate door swung open. A small older man stared at them, looking like a grumpy radish.

“What?” He asked, eyeing the camera around Kyungsoo neck suspiciously.

“We’re the ones who talked to you on the phone,” Sehun said, trying to sound as friendly as possible. “From the news website?”

“Oh,” He pursed his lips, his whole demeanor changing instantly. “You wanted to talk about my son’s highschool.”

“Yes, specifically the murder that happened there.” Jongdae said.

“Well, I would tell you to talk to Yixing himself, but he isn’t here anymore.” The old man sighed a long deep sigh.

Sehun’s eyes grew wide. “Did he die?”

“Oh, no!” The man shook his head. “He moved back to our home country, China.”

      Jongdae gave Sehun a little slap on the arm. Sehun looked like he wanted to defend himself, but he didn’t say anything.

“Well, what do you know about that day?” Jongdae asked.

“Oh, I don’t remember.” The man scratched the back of his head. “I wasn’t really able to look much into it at the time. I was just happy Yixing was alright. I knew the police would take care of it.”

        With every passing second, Kyungsoo clenched his fists more and more tightly. His nails dug into his skin and his knuckles turned pale white. Kyungsoo could barely hear a word the man was saying, all he could understand was that he just wouldn’t stop rambling as if that day was the least important in his life. It meant nothing to this man. Kyungsoo turned away before he had even finished speaking, leaving Sehun and Jongdae to finish the pleasantries and say goodbye.

 

 

         The air in the car was heavy as they drove to the next destination. Sehun and Jongdae knew exactly what had upset him, and thankfully, they didn’t push it. But they very much wanted to break the tension. Sehun flipped through the folder until he landed on Minseok’s section.

“Did you ever find those friends Minseok said were there that day?” Sehun asked. “The ones he said died.”

“No,” Jongdae said. “Taejoon and Jinil, right? Yeah, I never found any evidence of anyone with those names living in the area at the time, certainly none of highschool age.”

“That pokes a pretty big hole in his story, doesn’t it?” Sehun looked over at Kyungsoo.

“Yes, it does.” Kyungsoo rubbed his thumb across his lips in contemplation.

“Here we are…” Jongdae said.

      The car slowed down as they approached a mere shack of a home. They all looked between each other, collectively wondering how someone could live there. They stepped out of the car and approached the building. Sehun knocked tentatively on the door.

“Go away!” A voice called out, it’s owner sounded old.

“Could we just have a moment of your time?” Jongdae called.

       There were a few seconds of silence and then the door busted open. An old woman, dressed in absolutely filthy clothes, greeted them with a furious look.

“I won’t talk about my husband no more!” She growled.

“No, this is about your son,” Jongdae said. “Kim Minseok.”

“Don’t wanna talk about him either!” She huffed. “He’s just like his father, a beast! Ain’t human, neither of ‘em!”

“Ma’am-” Sehun started.

“Leave me alone!” She yelled, slamming the door shut in their faces.

“A beast, huh?” Kyungsoo mumbled, as they turned to leave.

“They seem like an even more broken family than us.” Sehun sighed.

 

 

      The day had been a long one. Kyungsoo’s neck was beginning to hurt from wearing the camera strap for so long. Sehun and Jongdae had both begun to complain about hand cramps from writing. So, this was a welcomed change. They all sat on a couch that basically swallowed you whole, it was so deep. The apartment smelled fresh and sweet. The warm lighting and decorations soothed the soul. All of these combined to lull Kyungsoo closer and closer to sleep. But one thing kept him wide awake. The old woman shuffled back over to them, a tray of tea in hand.

“There you are boys!” She said in a sing song voice.

“Thank you,” Sehun said, a pleasant smile on his face.

“Take off your mask dear,” The old woman said, placing her hand on Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

“Oh, he’s sick,” Jongdae said.

“All the more reason too!” She gave him a little pat. “The tea will do you good Kyungsoo dear.”

        Kyungsoo’s heart stopped. Sehun’s eyes turned into dinner plates. Jongdae choked on his tea. The old woman laughed.

“What? I would recognize you anywhere!” She ruffled his hair.

       When they all continued just staring at her in shock. She gave a little sigh and pulled Kyungsoo’s mask off. Kyungsoo’s hand shot up but it was too late. She set it down on the coffee table and walked over to her chair, unperturbed.

“How did you…” Kyungsoo said, softly.

“What kind of mother would I be if I couldn’t recognize my son’s best friend?” She smiled softly.

“I-It’s been years,” Kyungsoo said, his eyes misting over.

She laughed. “But you were over here only yesterday!”

       Sehun and Jongdae both looked at him. Kyungsoo straightened up, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Chanyeol will be so happy to see you when he gets back from preschool,” She said.

“Preschool?” Sehun tilted his head.

“Ma’am,” Jongdae scooted forward. “We came here to talk to you about your son’s highschool.”

“Highschool?” She stared off. “He’s too little for highschool.”

“What are you talking about?” Jongdae seemed to be getting aggravated.

“Don’t you remember the murders at your son’s highschool?” Sehun asked.

“Murders,” She didn’t look back at them. “Chanyeol was in danger. My husband was so worried. He was so worried for so long. Months and months, always anxious. Not until they took him away did he calm down. But it wasn’t the same anymore.”

“Ma’am?” Sehun said softly.

       Her eyes snapped back down to meet Sehun’s and her expression changed. She gave her head a little shake.

“Oh, my! I was rambling, wasn’t I?” She laughed.

“No, that’s why we came here.” Jongdae said. “Why was your husband worried?”

“Worried?” She tilted her head. “He has plenty of reasons to be worried. He’s got a family to raise and criminals to catch.”

“But what did-” Sehun started.

        The door to the apartment crept open. Silence filled the room immediately as they all turned to look at the door. A tall lanky figure stepped in, looking around the room in confusion.

“Mom?” He said.

“Oh! Chanyeol, you’re back!” The old woman stood, shakily.

“You don’t have to get up!” Chanyeol said, rushing over to help her sit back down.

        He looked around at the three people sitting on the couch. Kyungsoo didn’t make eye contact. Jongdae crossed his arms. Sehun tried to give a friendly and innocent smile, it did not work.

“Kyungsoo? What are you doing here?” Chanyeol asked. “Who are they?”

“Kyungsoo came over to visit and brought some friends, Sehun and Jongdae.” His mother took his hand. “Isn’t that wonderful, honey?”

      Chanyeol nodded and smiled at his mother, but it was clear to the other three he had a problem with this situation. It was also clear he recognized Sehun and Jongdae’s names. Kyungsoo stood up.

“We’ll be going now, then.” He said.

“We will?” Sehun looked up.

“We will.” Jongdae stood too, pulling Sehun up with him.

“I’ll see you out,” Chanyeol said.

        The four of them walked over to the door. Chanyeol’s mother was still calling out goodbyes as they shut the door. Chanyeol turned to face them with as intimidating of a face as he could muster.

“Kyungsoo, I know you said you suspect me, but why are you at my mother house?” He asked.

“We’re investigating.” Sehun said, crossing his arms.

“‘We’?” Chanyeol looked over at Kyungsoo, hurt crossing his face.

        Kyungsoo looked away, the cracks within him cutting deeper and deeper into his heart. Jongdae grabbed the other two and started to pull them away.

“Wait!” Chanyeol called after them. “Let me help you.”

         They all froze and looked at each other. Something within Kyungsoo snapped free, for just a moment, and he did something he couldn’t justify to himself.

“Alright,” He said.


	17. Heartless

     The car slowed to a stop outside of a little coffee shop. Kyungsoo couldn’t stop fiddling with the straps of the camera still around his neck. His eyes refused to look over at the person sitting next to him. He couldn’t stop wishing things had turned out different for them. And he hated himself for it. Chanyeol scooted forward to get a better look into the shop. Kyungsoo kept his head down, wishing he was anywhere else.

“Are you sure she’s in there?” Jongdae asked, turning around in his seat to look at Chanyeol.

“Yes, I’m positive.” Chanyeol nodded. “She said she would come and she would never lie to me. Baekhyun is my best friend and she’s like my sister. She’s in there.”

“Alright,” Jongdae sighed and started moving to get up.

“No,” Chanyeol grabbed his shoulder. “Only Kyungsoo should go in.”

“What? Why?” Sehun protested, turning back to look at Chanyeol, pouting dramatically. “That will ruin our shtick!”

“Because, that was the agreement her and I came to.” Chanyeol glanced at Kyungsoo for a moment before looking away and pouting himself. “Besides, it was a dumb shtick anyway.”

      Kyungsoo sighed and pushed his door open. He was tired of being around those three anyway. He slammed the door shut behind him a little more aggressively than necessary. He started to turn but he stopped when the window rolled down and Chanyeol stuck his head out.

“Just…” He looked down for a moment. “Hear her out, okay?”

       Kyungsoo didn’t answer. He walked up to the front door and yanked it open. A few people looked over at him, some even seemed to recognize him. It didn’t help his mood. He looked around the room, no one in particular standing out to him. But a hand shot into the air, catching his attention. A short woman stood slowly from a table in the corner of the room. Kyungsoo started to walk over to her. She lowered her arm and clutched both of her hands nervously in front of herself. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but note that she seemed a little overdressed for a meeting in a coffee shop. She had a dress, an expensive looking necklace, and, Kyungsoo realized as he got closer, even perfume on. But it all contrasted with her undyed, un-styled, and probably even unbrushed hair that was hanging in her face to the point she had to constantly brush it away. She sat back down when Kyungsoo reached the table and he followed suit.

“Hello,” She said softly. “I’m sure you know, but I’m Baekhyun’s wife.”

“And I’m sure you know who I am,” Kyungsoo said. “Yes?”

“Yes.” Her eyes drifted away from his. “Baekhyun has spoken about you frequently, especially recently.”

“Oh, really?” Kyungsoo folded his hands together on top of the table. “What sorts of things does he say?”

Her eyes shot back up. “W-well, he’s never really talking to me when he talks about you. I just… overhear things.”

“My question stands, what does he say?” Kyungsoo felt a certain sort of anxiety rising in his chest.

“In the past, he would say… less than complimentary things about you, about how you stole something from him. I didn’t understand. I always wanted to ask him about it, but I felt like I would overstepping my bounds. Baekhyun is really the sweetest person I’ve known-” Kyungsoo snorted and she froze instantly, staring at him for several seconds before continuing more weakly. “But, he can be really closed off sometimes. I think he’s afraid of being hurt, or that I won’t like him once I know all of the bad things he’s done, but he’s wrong.”

         Her words drifted off. She looked down at her hands, struggling to find the next words to say. Kyungsoo took his hands off the table. He regretted being so irritable with her. She didn’t deserve that. She hadn’t done anything to him.

“Recently, Baekhyun hasn’t been himself. He’s being closed off all the time. He barely even smiles anymore. I asked Chanyeol about it and he told me everything. About you, your past with him, the murders, everything.” She made real, true eye contact with Kyungsoo for the first time, determination taking over her face. “He even told me about what you said to Baekhyun that day.”

Kyungsoo sighed. “Are you blaming me?”

“No!” She shook her head. “If I had known about this, helped him from the beginning, maybe things would be easier for him. But I didn’t know anything about his past. I’m not from Busan, I’d never heard anything about it. His own wife didn’t know anything…”

        She trailed off again, tears slipping out of her eyes. Kyungsoo clutched the edge of his shirt, he couldn’t look at her. A wave of nausea poured over him. He almost wished she had blamed him instead. He wanted to comfort her, but he didn’t know how. She sniffled and wiped at her eyes, once again facing Kyungsoo with determination.

“But you, you’re the key, I know it,” She said.

“The key?” Kyungsoo titled his head slightly.

“I know you probably don’t think he deserves it, but if you could forgive him, put aside your past, even if it’s just a little,” She took Kyungsoo’s hands in hers. “I know he’ll go back to being himself.”

       Kyungsoo pulled his hands out of hers gently. A strange sort of awakening washing over him. This wasn’t going to help him. His mentality, previously shaken, hardened with resolve. He had better things to do than be guilt tripped into forgiving a coward. He had begun to trust too many people recently, it was going to be his ruin.

“If you don’t know anything about the murders, our conversation is over.” He stood up.

“No please!” She grabbed onto his sleeve. “You can’t be that cruel. He’s really only after forgiveness!”

“Forgiveness won’t change what happened!” Kyungsoo ripped his arm out of her grasp.

“But neither will holding a grudge!” She cried, once again grabbing hold of Kyungsoo, more tightly this time. “He was only a child when he hurt you. And I know he could never kill anyone. Please…”

         She looked past Kyungsoo, out the window. He followed her gaze. A car pulled up outside the shop. The front door opened and Baekhyun stepped out. He didn’t look well. He pulled out his phone and typed something. His wife’s phone buzzed.

“Please,” She said again, her voice much softer. “Now, while you have the chance, while you still can, forgive him.”

“I… can’t.” Kyungsoo’s voice was barely audible.

       Slowly, she let go of him. She straightened up, looking into Kyungsoo’s eyes with real true sorrow and disappointment. She picked up her things, shaking slightly. She stepped around him.

“Then you’ll be left in torment alone,” She said. “I didn’t just do this for his sake. If you won’t help, then I won’t stop working until my husband can rebuild himself. But you, if you keep rejecting people like this… you’ll be left alone, broken forever.”

       She walked out of the shop without looking back. Kyungsoo placed a hand on the table, trying to keep himself upright. He looked out the window. As soon as Baekhyun saw his wife, his face lit up. They wrapped their arms around each other. Suddenly, Kyungsoo felt very cold and the room seemed so large and empty. He watched as the two of them climbed into their car and drove away, paying him absolutely no mind. His resolve turned to mist before his eyes. Kyungsoo barely heard the sound of the door opening, or registered Chanyeol, Sehun, and Jongdae walking up to him. But their voices snapped his mind back down to reality.

“Well?” Jongdae asked, anxiously. “Did she know anything?”

“No,” Kyungsoo shook his head unsteadily.

        The two brothers sighed, but Chanyeol seemed none too surprised. But he didn’t look happy, no doubt because his real goal in having them talk was not achieve either. Chanyeol shook his head a little in an attempt to refocus himself.

“It’s too bad but we’ve got another lead,” Chanyeol said.

“What is it?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Minseok has been arrested.”


	18. Leave Me Be

      The faded blue sign that hung loosely above the little brick building made Kyungsoo’s stomach lurch. The three men that stood beside him were all anxious to get inside and speak to Minseok. But they all just stood there. Kyungsoo found himself unable to move even a muscle towards that place. The mask that hung across his face felt thin and light, as if it wouldn’t stop a single prying eye. There was not a doubt in Kyungsoo’s mind the policemen would recognize him. Chanyeol looked over at the smaller man, concerned at his lack of advancement. He studied Kyungsoo’s face for a moment.

“Are you worried they’ll recognize you?” Chanyeol asked softly.

       All Kyungsoo could muster was a slow and shaky nod. He felt pathetic, like a small child too afraid to enter a haunted house. Chanyeol patted him on the back gently and pulled something out of his back pocket.

“Here, this will help,” He handed Kyungsoo a worn-out baseball cap.

       Kyungsoo took it tentatively and put it on slowly. It shaded his eyes from the sun, and his self from the world. He undoubtedly felt better and he took a step towards the door. But in doing so, the space around him became emptier, now devoid of the other three guys. He suddenly felt alone and ill-equipped to handle this. It had been a long time since he felt like that, so fragile and unsure of himself. But the space was almost immediately filled in. His three companions retook their place next to him. Jongdae smiled at him confidently. Sehun gave a cheeky thumbs up. Chanyeol stepped in front of him, his much larger figure shielding Kyungsoo from the road ahead. They stood around him protectively.

“We got you,” Chanyeol said, turning to look back at him.

        Kyungsoo could only nod again, casting his eyes down and praying the tears weren’t noticeable. The four of them walked up the steps. Chanyeol pushed open the door and they stepped inside. The chaotic noises of a police precinct filled their ears. Chanyeol walked through the busy room with confidence, as if he could walk it with his eyes closed. Kyungsoo supposed it came with the territory of being the son of such a prominent police officer. And sure enough, when one of the officers spotted Chanyeol his face lit up and he ran over to them.

“Oh, Chanyeol!” He said pleasantly, giving Chanyeol a smile like he was his own son. “You’re here to talk to that detainee, right?”

“Yeah,” Chanyeol nodded, returning the same warmth despite the subject matter. “Thank you for doing this.”

“Oh, it’s no problem at all.” The officer laughed. “I was a bit surprised when you called. It’s been a while and it was such an odd request. But it’s the least I can do for you.”

        You can’t say no to Chanyeol. The two of them continued chatting as they walked over to the cells, apparently unaware of the presence of the other three. Eventually the officer stopped a few feet away from one of the cells.

“Well then, I’ll leave you to talk with him.” He started to step away. “Take as long as you need.”

“Thank you again,” Chanyeol said.

         Now left alone, the four of them looked at each other. They were all undeniably nervous to take the next few steps necessary to even see into the cell. But eventually, they all advanced slowly. And at last, Minseok came into view. He sat with his back up against the wall, arms propped up on his bended knees and head hung between them. He looked more than disheveled. It took until they reached the edge of his cell for him to look up. He looked as if he hadn’t slept in days. He gave the little group a partially apathetic, partially confused look.

“Who are you?” He asked.

“Um, well,” Chanyeol looked around at his group for help.

“Minseok,” Kyungsoo pulled his mask off and stepped toward him. “What happened? Why were you arrested again?”

Minseok’s eyes lit up for the briefest moment. “Kyungsoo? What are you doing here?”

“We’re investigating,” Sehun said, carefully as if Minseok might somehow break out of the cell and attack him.

       Minseok cracked a lax smile, a mixture of amusement and bemusement crossing his face at Sehun’s cautiousness. But it was quickly replaced with a far more melancholic expression.

“To answer your question,” He turned back to Kyungsoo. “I broke parole. Or rather, to be more blunt, I robbed a store.”

“Well, you shouldn’t get too much time for that, right?” Chanyeol tried to look optimistic.

Minseok let out a pained sigh, he closed his eyes. “No, I-I shot someone. He hasn’t died yet but… it isn’t looking good for him.”

       Sehun and Jongdae exchanged uneasy looks. Kyungsoo furrowed his eyebrows, taking a small step back. Somehow, it surprised him. It really shouldn’t have been surprising considering Minseok’s lifestyle and upbringing and he was bothered by his own reaction. But the only thing that colored Minseok’s face was disappointment and anguish. He didn’t seem in the least pleased with having hurt someone. Minseok ruffled his own hair violently, as if he was trying to rub the memory of what happened out of his head. Eventually, he looked back up at his visitors, almost as if he was expecting them to leave. Perhaps he was anticipating that they had gotten what they wanted. But instead, Jongdae did his best to collect himself and broach the topic well.

“While I understand the gravity of your situation.” He said. “This isn’t why we came here.”

“Then why did you come here?” Minseok asked, a slight level of irritation creeping into his voice.

“Well,” Sehun lifted up the folder he was holding. “We looked into the people you said were there with you the day of the incident, but we couldn’t find any records of them.”

       Minseok stared at him for a few seconds, slowly processing what he said. Then finally, he scoffed. But it quickly turned into a sort of disgusted laugh. Sehun looked at his brother in confusion. But Jongdae was just as confused. Minseok made eye contact again, giving them a frustrated look. He moved closer to the bars, looking up at them.

“Of course, boys like them weren’t on any kind of records. They weren’t just abandoned, they were thrown away by their parents. The absolute scum of society is never remembered. They were uncontrollable and far too naïve about the world, and that’s what got them killed. Their bodies are laying in some ditch somewhere, forgotten and unloved. And I know-” Minseok’s voice broke. “That’s exactly how I’m going to end up.”

“Minseok-” Kyungsoo tried to interject.

“It doesn’t matter if you think I’m lying or that I might have killed them. You won’t find any satisfaction getting revenge on me. I don’t have anything to be taken away. I have no chance at a happy ending. Not when I was born of a killer.” Minseok said.

“A happy ending?” Chanyeol said under his breath, only barely loud enough to reach Kyungsoo’s ears. “Is there even such a thing?”

“No!” Sehun bent down to be on Minseok’s level. “You can’t think like that. No one is beyond recovery. There is no wound that can’t heal. You aren’t worthless, Minseok. I promise, you can still build up a happy life.”

“How?” Minseok struggled to choke back tears.

Jongdae bent down too, sticking his arm through the bars. “When you get out of prison, come find me. I’ll help you rebuild.”

      Minseok extended his hand slowly, taking Jongdae’s. Jongdae smiled at him warmly, something Kyungsoo had never seen him do before. Evidently, the two brothers had forgotten their anxiety. The beast they feared, it seemed, was a more frail creature than expected. Something tugged at Kyungsoo as he watched Jongdae and Minseok hold onto each other. Cracks deepened, and the part of himself Kyungsoo had so desperately clung to up to this point was barely held together.

“I believe you,” Kyungsoo said, softly. “I know you didn’t kill them.”

“What?” Minseok looked up at him, eyes wide. “You really…”

“You _can_ be happy, Minseok,” He finished.

       Minseok broke down crying. He covered his face in his hands, the soft smile on his face still visible. Minseok desperately tried to express his gratitude to them, but all Kyungsoo needed was to remember that spark of life he had seen ignite in Minseok’s eyes.

 

 

 

      The four of them stepped into Kyungsoo’s apartment building, utterly and completely drained. The day had been a long one, and they were ending it with a seemingly inconceivable amount of new knowledge. They had a lot to discuss, and they had to catch Chanyeol up on their investigation, barring what they had learned about him. They stepped onto the elevator and Kyungsoo was greeted with a new feeling. He had never tackled a day of investigation and had a group of other minds to consult. It felt nice.

       Kyungsoo thought over the day, trying to process it all. His mind drifted to Baekhyun, the broken look on his face that day in the coffee shop. His poor appearance when he picked up his wife. All the horrible things he had done to Kyungsoo seemed too distant. Kyungsoo wished, for a moment, that he had spoken to Baekhyun again. He wished, he hadn’t let his pride get the better of him. Maybe, there was no reason to keep searching for the killer. Maybe, it was better left unsolved.

      The elevator door dinged and opened slowly. Kyungsoo pushed his thoughts away, now wasn’t the time for doubts. There was still much to be done. The little group made their way down the hall. Sehun and Jongdae in the midst of a much-needed lighthearted conversation about the state of the interior decorating in Kyungsoo’s apartment building. Chanyeol was smiling and laughing along with them. And Kyungsoo caught himself smiling, genuinely. He was part of a group. Three, smiling boys walking beside him. He had it again. He had fr-

       They all stopped. Everything stopped. Kyungsoo’s heart dropped as life reminded him of her cruelty. Across the front of Kyungsoo's door was a single word painted in red.

                                                          _Murderer_


	19. Crumbling into You

   It wasn’t very often that Kyungsoo thought about the days before his life ended where things just didn’t seem to go right. There were days back then that were hard. But, whether consciously or not, Kyungsoo ignored them, instead pretending that time in his life then had been a sort of dream-like perfection. But somehow, as Kyungsoo sat in his apartment alone, the red paint on his door ever-present, his mind kept drifting there. Strangely, he could remember the tears that slipped down his face and the pain he felt in his chest but never the reasons he had been so upset. But most vividly of all, he could remember a pair of arms wrapping around him, soft voices telling him it was alright to be upset and that they would help, and three smiling faces doing their best to make him laugh.

    The air in his apartment was cold. Kyungsoo pulled his knees up to his chest. His eyes had adjusted to the pitch black around him long ago and he just couldn’t seem to find it in himself to move and turn on a light. A small sliver of light seeped in from the hallway outside his apartment door. Instead of being comforting, it made him feel sick. Who out there hated him so much? How had they found out who he was? Would they try to rid their apartment building of him? The countless questions swirling through his head weighed on his mind more than the distant memories. He was cold, too cold.

 

 

     It was daytime, late in the day if Kyungsoo had to guess. He couldn’t remember falling asleep. He wasn’t sure if he had even slept at all. His stomach was empty, and it told as much, but he ignored it. His eyes remained unfocused. There was a soft knock at the door. Adrenaline and fear crashed over Kyungsoo in an instant. His eyes were wide, and his limbs refused to move. Images of the police dragging him out of his apartment or civilians screaming at him to just die already flooded his head. He couldn’t open the door.

“Kyungsoo?” A gentle and familiar voice called after knocking many times. “Are you home?”

    It was Sehun. Kyungsoo unfolded himself and stood shakily. He walked over to the door, head spinning slightly, and opened it. The two brothers stood outside, eyebrows furrowed, eyes flitting between Kyungsoo and the word still painted on his door. They looked worried. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but wonder why. Why did they care? Why were they trying to help him?

“Can we come in?” Jongdae asked.

“Why?” Kyungsoo’s voice was more hoarse than he anticipated.

“You know what? I have an even better idea.” Sehun snaked his arm through the crack and grabbed Kyungsoo’s. “Why don’t you come out?”

“What?” Kyungsoo said, weakly.

   He barely had time to protest before he was pulled out of his apartment, forced into shoes and a jacket, and shuffled away down the hall. He found the ease with which the two brothers overpowered him disconcerting. But seeing as they were both several inches taller than him and considerably more well-fed, he supposed he should have anticipated that.

“Wait! Where on earth are you taking me?” Kyungsoo asked as they pushed him towards their car.

“You need to get out, do things other than investigate,” Sehun said, plainly.

“Plus, your clothes look like you crawled out of a dumpster, so we need to fix that.” Jongdae pulled open the car door.

“I-I don’t have money for that.” Kyungsoo stepped back.

“You don’t have to pay,” Sehun said, smiling softly. “We owe you for letting us tag along.”

    Kyungsoo looked between the two of them, his mind struggling to keep up. They both gestured to the car reassuringly. Kyungsoo felt tears building in his eyes. He told himself the only reason he climbed in that car was to avoid them noticing.

 

 

    The three of them sat in a cramped booth; Sehun and Jongdae on one side, Kyungsoo and a small mountain of shopping bags on the other. The two brothers smiled at each other, pleased with their work. They were very aware of how Kyungsoo’s eyes continuously drifted over to his new clothes and how he kept one hand tenderly on top. What they didn’t pick up on, was the part of Kyungsoo that was worried that at any moment this would all be taken away from him. He shoveled the wide array of food Jongdae had ordered for them into his mouth like it would disappear at any moment. The smile dropped from Jongdae’s face and he fiddled with his hands. Kyungsoo could tell he wanted to say something.

“What?” Kyungsoo asked, still shoveling food into his mouth.

“I know it was part of our agreement that we-” He glanced at Sehun. “That I wouldn’t keep investigating my father.”

Kyungsoo stopped eating. “But?”

“But I just couldn’t stop thinking about it, what we found in the school that night, how he profited off death,” Jongdae clenched his fists. “And everything about his finical records just didn’t make sense.”

“Jongdae, please don’t tell me you-” Sehun tried to cut in.

“I just wanted answers,” Jongdae continued, ignoring his brother. “I just wanted him to be honest. I tried confronting him about it, but we just ended up arguing, well, screaming at each other honestly.”

    Sehun’s eyes dropped to the floor, pain evident on his face. Kyungsoo sighed. He was disappointed, part of him wanted to tell Jongdae their agreement was over. He shifted his hand slightly, making the plastic of the bags underneath it crinkle. His mind jumped to the long hours the three of them had spent together and everything Jongdae had done for him. Suddenly, he couldn’t bring himself to even consider making Jongdae leave.

“But,” Jongdae broke the silence again after collecting his courage. “he did it. He told me what really happened that day.”

“What?” Sehun and Kyungsoo spoke at the same time.

“W-what did he say?” Sehun asked.

“As soon as he heard the gunshots,” Jongdae paused. “He started looking for us. He thought- he thought the debt collectors were trying to kill me and Sehun.”

“Debt collectors?” Sehun stared at his brother. “What debt?”

   Jongdae sighed and rubbed his face in frustration. This was really hard for him. Kyungsoo wanted to help. He wanted to make things easier. But their conversation was cut short by a familiar voice.

“Kyungsoo!” Chanyeol called, waving as he approached. “Hey guys!”

“Oh, you’re finally here,” Sehun said, quickly realizing his brother wasn’t going to continue.

“Sorry it took me so long,” Chanyeol pulled the bags out from under Kyungsoo’s hand, placing them under the table, and took a seat next to him.

“Did you figure anything out?” Sehun asked.

Chanyeol shook his head. “No one would cooperate.”

“Where were you?” Kyungsoo asked.

    Chanyeol glanced at Kyungsoo for a second before looking between the brothers. They nodded, apparently giving him the go ahead to tell Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo pursed his lips, disliking being the one out of the loop.

“I was trying to figure out who painted on your front door,” Chanyeol explained as gently as he could. “We thought you should get him charged with vandalism or something. But everyone I talked to was… well they didn’t seem particularly sympathetic to you.”

“What did they say?” Kyungsoo asked, coldly. “That I deserved it? That he was right? That I should just leave?”

   Chanyeol frowned and looked away, confirming Kyungsoo’s suspicion. He sighed, unsurprised but unable to ignore the twang of pain in his heart. He looked around at the three people sitting with him. They tried to look more positive than he was sure they felt. Chanyeol put his hand on Kyungsoo’s shoulder gently, opening his mouth to speak. Kyungsoo knew exactly what he was going to do and, in a strange fit of anxiety at the familiarity of it all, he had to stop it.

“Kyungsoo, we-” Chanyeol started

“You don’t have to cheer me up,” Kyungsoo interrupted him, trying to ease them with a forced smile. “I’m fine. It’s been like this for a while.”

“But-” Chanyeol tightened his grip on Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

“I’d rather you just drop it,” Kyungsoo pulled his hand off gently.

   Chanyeol looked at the other two but they just nodded, letting it go. Chanyeol seemed unhappy, but he let it go too. The three of them sat in a comfortable silence for a while. Sehun leaned against Jongdae, putting his head on his shoulder. Chanyeol and Jongdae began to talk about nothing in particular. Kyungsoo did his best to distract himself from his thoughts. He didn’t want to think, just for a little bit he wanted his brain to be blank. He tried to continue eating but the food had long ago gone cold. It wasn’t until the three of them realized Sehun had fallen asleep that they realized how late it was.

“I’d better take him home,” Jongdae brushed Sehun’s hair out of his face, chuckling to himself. “Such a baby.”

     Somehow, Jongdae managed to climb out of the booth and get Sehun onto his back without waking him up. Either Sehun was a deep sleeper or Jongdae had done this many times before. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol followed him out of the restaurant. Jongdae took off with only a brief goodbye and Kyungsoo was inclined to do the same but Chanyeol stopped him.

“You wanna get some drinks?” Chanyeol asked, gesturing in a vague direction behind himself.

Kyungsoo blinked a few times. “Drinks?”

“Yeah, you know, like alcohol?” Chanyeol laughed, intertwining his arm with Kyungsoo’s. “Come on, we can get some food too.”

    Once again, Kyungsoo was helpless to stop a tall man from dragging him off. But even if Chanyeol hadn’t had Kyungsoo’s arm interlocked with his own, Kyungsoo was sure he would still have ended up going. You can’t say no to Chanyeol. So, he relaxed and matched Chanyeol’s stride, as much as possible with his much shorter legs. He feigned listening to Chanyeol’s rambling as he took in the city that was now shrouded in darkness. His mind drifted to a comfortable, almost daydream-like, place. It had been a long time since he’d been out like this. Out with friends. Once again, anxiety hit Kyungsoo like a ton of bricks and he snapped back to reality.

“-what you have to do to protect yourself and-” Chanyeol stopped talking, noticing Kyungsoo’s change in posture and that he was suddenly listening again. “What?”

   Kyungsoo stared at him for a few seconds with wide eyes, heart beating in his ears. He pulled his arm away from Chanyeol’s. Suddenly, Kyungsoo was afraid of the comfortable atmosphere. Seeing Kyungsoo’s facial expression, Chanyeol slowed to a stop, looking nervous.

“What is it?” He asked again. “Did you-”

“I-It’s fine,” Kyungsoo said, wishing he didn’t feel like this. “I was just thinking about… it doesn’t matter. I’m sorry.”

   Chanyeol stared at him, still looking uneasy. The two of them continued walking. Once again, they were enveloped in silence, but it was anything but comfortable.

 

 

     The two of them stumbled through the still clearly marked front door. Chanyeol struggled to keep the nearly unconscious Kyungsoo upright. For someone who had never even tasted alcohol, and had even disliked the taste, Kyungsoo had downed quite a lot. All he had thought about was the numb feeling it could give him. But at the moment, he felt anything but numb. He felt like he was going to vomit all over his apartment.

“Okay, let’s get you inside,” Chanyeol said as he struggled to get his and Kyungsoo’s shoes off, being less than sober himself.

“I’m fine!” Kyungsoo tried to push past him.

   Chanyeol tried to stop Kyungsoo from immediately tipping over, but Kyungsoo was determined to go in by himself. It was instant chaos. And the tangle of limbs that was the two of them crashed down onto the hard kitchen floor. Chanyeol groaned in pain, clutching his elbow. Kyungsoo tried to push himself up but his arms gave out on him. Vomit crawled up his throat but Kyungsoo slapped his hand across his mouth and forced it back down. Tears welled up in his eyes. What was he doing? Here of all places…

“I’m sorry,” He choked out, pressing his forehead against the tile. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Chanyeol said, still holding his elbow. “You didn’t mean to.”

“No,” Kyungsoo shook his head, tears slipping down his face onto the tile. “It’s all my fault. They wouldn’t be dead if it weren’t for me.”

    Chanyeol stared at him for a few seconds, realization hitting him. He let go of his elbow and sat up slowly.

“I’m so sorry,” Kyungsoo muttered. “Mommy… please tell them I’m sorry.”

    Gently, Chanyeol placed his hand on Kyungsoo’s back. Kyungsoo shot up, pushing his hand away.

“No, don’t!” He screamed. “Don’t comfort me.”

“Kyungsoo…” Chanyeol pulled his hand away. “Why?”

“I can’t trust you!” Kyungsoo choked out each word through tears. “I can’t do that to them. I can’t replace them. I can’t let them down. I can’t care about you. I _can’t_ trust you. You’ll only break that trust. I know you will. Even if you don’t, you’ll leave me. Something will happen, I know it! I’ll lose it all again!”

   Chanyeol watched him very carefully, expression unreadable. He reached out slowly, taking Kyungsoo’s hand in his own. Kyungsoo tried to pull away but Chanyeol held on easily.

“Do I look like I’m leaving?” Chanyeol asked, softly yet with a hint of irritation. “Have I done anything untrustworthy? What do I have to do to make you feel comfortable with me? I’ve been trying, Kyungsoo. Really, I have. I don’t know what else you want from me.”

   Kyungsoo let out a sob, letting Chanyeol pull him into a hug. What did he want? He didn’t know. He just didn’t know anymore. Chanyeol ran his hand through Kyungsoo’s hair gently.

“I just want…” Kyungsoo clutched Chanyeol’s shirt. “To feel safe again.”

“You _are_ safe.” Chanyeol whispered, tenderly. “Don’t you see? Where you are right now, you’re safe. And I’m here. I’ll make sure you don’t push too far or do something stupid or dangerous. You don’t have to be afraid of me, Kyungsoo. You don’t have to be afraid of anyone.”

     The words seeped into Kyungsoo, hitting him in a place in his heart he had desperately tried to keep hidden. Kyungsoo wasn’t crying anymore. Every wall he had built up within himself lay in ruins. He felt open, exposed. But he felt Chanyeol’s arms around him and they felt so _warm_. Kyungsoo’s breathing began to become steady again. Chanyeol was still talking, but Kyungsoo was too tired to listen. The world began to get fuzzy and he closed his eyes. Under the influence of alcohol and on the brink of slumber, Kyungsoo forgot about his past and allowed himself to feel safe in someone’s arms.

 

 

   Pain erupted in Kyungsoo’s head as his eyes opened. The sunlight pouring into his bedroom burned into his skull. He groaned and forced himself to sit up. He felt like he was dying. For a moment, he was worried he had contracted some deadly disease. But memories from the previous day quickly flooded his mind. Right, he got drunk. He closed his eyes and swore to himself to never touch alcohol again. He climbed out of bed, still wearing his clothes from the previous day, and stumbled into his living room.

     He walked into the kitchen, feeling hungry and an uncommon desire to actually eat breakfast. Every step he took felt like it could be his last. He stared into his almost empty fridge, wishing he had any idea what would help a hangover. He let out a frustrated sigh and slammed the door closed. A groan sounded from the other side of the room. Kyungsoo screamed louder than he would like to admit. He looked over at the couch. Chanyeol sat up slowly, clutching his head.

“Why are you being so loud?” He grumbled.

“W-Why are you still here?” Kyungsoo felt his face heating up, remembering how he cried like a child in Chanyeol’s arms.

“I really meant to go home,” Chanyeol rubbed the back of his neck, still blinking the sleep out of his eyes. “But I was too drunk and tired, so I guess ended up falling asleep on your couch. Sorry.”

“N-nah,” Kyungsoo walked over to him. “It’s alright, I guess. As long as you can tell me what to do about my killer hangover.”

 “Yeah, sure.” Chanyeol chuckled but the smile faded. “But… if you don’t mind, could I talk to you about something?”

Kyungsoo felt his stomach drop, fear rising. “What?”


	20. Beneath My Surface

“But… if you don’t mind, could I talk to you about something?”

Kyungsoo felt his stomach drop, fear rising. “What?”

“Here, sit down.” Chanyeol shifted over, patting the couch next to him.

     Kyungsoo lowered slowly onto the couch. The two of them sat there, stiff and silent. Chanyeol obviously trying to figure out a way to broach the topic he wanted to talk about. Kyungsoo picked at the skin around his nails. He was pretty sure he knew what Chanyeol wanted to talk about. Eventually the silence became too much to bare.

“I’m sorry about last night,” Kyungsoo said softly.

“W-what?” Chanyeol looked over at him in surprise. “Why are you sorry?”

“I got drunk and you had to carry me home and I… cried and-” Kyungsoo started to ramble, letting out pent-up pressure.

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol put a hand on his shoulder, making their eyes meet. “Don’t _ever_ apologize to me. After everything that’s happened, I’m the last person who needs an apology.” He paused, his eyes drifted away. He pulled his hand away too. “Just… please try to trust me. If you could trust me, I’m sure things will turn out alright.”

    All Kyungsoo could feel was pain. His hangover was still making his head throb and his limbs weak. But he was certain the pain in his chest had a different cause. Chanyeol sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

“But that wasn’t what I wanted to talk about,” He said.

“It wasn’t?” Kyungsoo felt a brief wave of relief that was quickly over taken by another wave of unease.

“I-I know when you talked to my mom she must’ve said some pretty weird things,” Chanyeol began. “She has dementia, you see. She doesn’t really remember things after I was beginning elementary school, sometimes not even that much. But-”

    Chanyeol seemed to almost choke on his words. He let out a shaky sigh. Slowly, Kyungsoo placed his hand on Chanyeol’s back. He didn’t know much about comforting other people. He didn’t even know why he wanted so badly to comfort him. But something about the way Chanyeol’s face twisted in discomfort and how he had failed to help Jongdae the night before made Kyungsoo want to at least try. He rubbed Chanyeol’s back gently. Chanyeol’s breathing became a little more stable.

“B-but, occasionally, she can remember things from when I was in high school. Things from after that day…” Chanyeol groaned and quickly wiped at his eyes. “I-I should never have stayed there that day. I should have gone home as soon as the teacher was done with me. But no, I had to find my stupid hat.”

“You couldn’t have known what would happen,” Kyungsoo said.

“Maybe.” Chanyeol kept his eyes on the floor. “But the consequences of me staying were… irreversible. I had never seen my father more shaken. He thought I was injured or even killed. He hugged me so tightly when he saw me. But a Police Chief can’t afford to be shaken, not so deeply, not to his core. My father was convinced I was in danger. He never left me alone, never let me go anywhere. And he would stop at nothing to close the case. He pushed for you being the killer relentlessly. He wouldn’t even look at any evidence to contrary. I never asked him to do that. I never wanted him to do any of that. I could handle myself just fine! I-”

     He stopped. Kyungsoo’s eyes had glazed over long ago. His hand remained motionless on Chanyeol’s back. He pulled it away slowly. It wasn’t fair. The things that had happened weren’t fair, but neither was the feeling of resentment towards Chanyeol building in Kyungsoo’s chest. He couldn’t help but also hate the fact Chanyeol had stayed behind to look for a hat. If he hadn’t, maybe things would have turned out differently. The thought drove Kyungsoo crazy.

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

    Kyungsoo looked over at him. For the first time, he didn’t see a suspect or a threat. All he saw was Chanyeol with tears slipping down his face. Kyungsoo shook his head. The idea that something as simple as Chanyeol going home earlier would have completely changed what happened was childish. And it was pointless to think about. Kyungsoo opened his mouth to say something when Chanyeol’s phone went off, scaring them both. He grabbed it off the floor.

“Oh,” He sniffled and wiped his face with his sleeve. “ Ah, son of a… I’m going to be late for work. I-I need to leave.”

“U-uh, Chanyeol-” Kyungsoo tried to say as the other man quickly started collecting his things.

“Sorry for crashing at your place,” Chanyeol rushed over to the door. “I’d stay longer but I don’t want to bother you. Plus, I’ve been late to work too many times this week. Bye!”

    Chanyeol rambled out all of his excuses and was out the door before Kyungsoo could get off the couch. Kyungsoo stared at the door. An empty and dissatisfied feeling crept into him. He stood up fast enough to make his head spin. Chanyeol never told him how to cure a hangover. The feeling grew. He stumbled into his bedroom. Looking around at the array of notes scattered across his floor, he scratched his head. Some of them were his and some of them were ones he copied from Jongdae and Sehun. He needed to clean them up. He needed to do _something_. He needed to think about something else.

    Kyungsoo stared to throw the notes into a heap on his bed. They piled up quickly. He picked up the small group of notes from the day they had interviewed friends and family. He froze, one of the notes sparking a memory. It bothered him. An idea slid into his head. He threw the notes down on the bed and ran to the door. If he was right, this could mean everything.

 

 

      A now familiar house stood in front of Kyungsoo. It seemed he always ended up returning to this door. It felt strange to be investigating alone again. But he didn’t have time to find Sehun and Jongdae. Plus, they might be busy like Chanyeol. No, he had to do this alone. He rang the doorbell. There was silence for a long time. Kyungsoo began to worry that he wasn’t home. The door opened slowly.

“What do you want?” Jongin asked, almost looking as worse for wear as Kyungsoo. “Let me guess, it’s about something one of my old friends said.”

“How did you…” Kyungsoo furrowed his brow.

“Hyungsik told me some weird guys claiming to be from a news website were asking questions about me. I’m not stupid,” Jongin said, flatly. “So, what do you want?”

“Your story changed,” Kyungsoo said. “You told him you saw something. What was it? What did you see? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Jongin frowned and straightened up. “I didn’t see anything. Happy?”

“No, of course not. Stop lying.” Kyungsoo scoffed. “You’re unbelievable.”

“And even after all of this you’re still the same,” Jongin began to raise his voice. “Acting all high and mighty like you’re the greatest person to ever touch the earth, pretending like you’re better than everyone. Well guess what, as far as the rest of the world is concerned, you’re a disgusting murderer. I thought that would finally take you down a peg but evidently not.”

“I don’t think I’m the greatest, or better than everyone.” Kyungsoo said, venom in his tone. “I’m just better than you.”

“Oh? And what horrible crime have I committed to become lesser than a murderer?” Jongin jeered. “Who’s really worse here? If it wasn’t for you, the girl I loved wouldn’t have died.”

     Kyungsoo’s hand shot up, striking across Jongin’s face. Jongin stumbled backwards. Kyungsoo hadn’t even given himself time to think about it before he did it. But he chose not to regret it.

“Don’t you dare…” Kyungsoo’s breathing was unstable. “You don’t have the right to say that. You were never good enough for her. You’ve always been a selfish liar.”

    The shock on Jongin’s face melted. For the briefest moment, it was replaced with pain. But rage overpowered it and Jongin balled his fists. He hit Kyungsoo straight in the face with enough force to almost make his legs give out. He grabbed Kyungsoo’s shirt and punched him again. Kyungsoo grabbed the arm that was holding him. He was used to this sort of beating. So, his eyes met Jongin’s with no sign of fear. Jongin, however, looked terrified. He let Kyungsoo drop to the ground.

“What are you even trying to accomplish?” Jongin asked, before going back inside and slamming the door closed.

Kyungsoo looked up at the door weakly. “All I want is the truth and justice for the people I lost. Is that really so ridiculous?”

 

 

     It wasn’t until he began to taste the blood seeping into his mouth that Kyungsoo realized he was bleeding. He ignored it and continued trudging down the hall towards his apartment. He was tired and broken. All he wanted to do was close his eyes and keep them shut. But Kyungsoo’s eyes grew wide and he slowed to a stop. Three people stood in front of his door, diligently painting his door. With each stroke the red word became less and less visible. Kyungsoo felt his breath catch in his throat. Sehun looked up and their eyes met. At first, Sehun broke into a small smile but he quickly realized that Kyungsoo was injured.

“K-Kyungsoo!” He cried, abandoning his paintbrush and running over to him. “What happened?”

    The other two looked over, having equally shocked and concerned expressions. Kyungsoo let them guide him into his apartment. They sat him down on the couch.

“Who did this?” Jongdae asked, furiously.

“Something didn’t feel right about what Jongin’s friends said,” Kyungsoo stared out the window as he spoke. “I wanted to investigate so I went to speak with him. It didn’t go so well.”

“I’d say,” Sehun mumbled, gently inspecting Kyungsoo’s face. “I think he broke your nose. Do you have a first aid kit?”

“Yeah, in the bathroom,”

     Sehun rushed off to get it. Jongdae looked livid. He paced around the room, muttering to himself. Chanyeol stood a few feet away from Kyungsoo. He looked pale. Kyungsoo didn’t pay much attention to either of them. He stared out the window, trying to make sense of the thoughts swimming around in his head. Sehun returned with the kit. After a little more examination, decided Kyungsoo’s nose probably wasn’t broken. But neither Chanyeol nor Jongdae seemed particularly relieved. Before Kyungsoo could insist to do it himself, Sehun was diligently taking care of his other cuts and bruises.

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol said, carefully. “I know this isn’t my place to say… but, I-I really wish you’d stop.”

“Stop what?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Investigating. I know it’s important to you, but it doesn’t seem safe or healthy.” Chanyeol took a small step forward. “You’re tearing yourself apart. It’s scaring me.”

    Sehun and Jongdae didn’t say anything. Kyungsoo almost got the feeling that they agreed. Kyungsoo heard a part of him screaming, begging him to stop. Another part stood as firm as stone, refusing to move. Maybe it was ridiculous, trying to do what he was. Sehun pulled away having cleaned all of his wounds. Chanyeol’s phone buzzed. He cursed under his breath.

“I-I need to go, band practice,” He said, looking around at the other apologetically. “Will you be okay, Kyungsoo?”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo nodded.

“Of course, he will!” Sehun patted Kyungsoo’s back gently. “He’s got us!”

“Alright, see you guys later!” Chanyeol gave a little wave and headed out.

     Once again, Kyungsoo watched the door swing closed. The last few words spoken replayed in his head. Warm tears began trailing down his face. He hadn’t seen Chanyeol just then, he had seen his friend. Suddenly, he could admit it to himself. Chanyeol was his friend. Sehun and Jongdae were his friends. He cared about them. He trusted them. Sehun’s eyes grew wide at the tears slipping down his friend’s face.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, wrapping his arm around Kyungsoo. “Why are you crying?”

    Jongdae joined the other two on the couch, also trying to comfort Kyungsoo. They didn’t even know why he was crying. Kyungsoo started to sob, covering his eyes with his palms. Sehun pulled him in closer. Jongdae pulled his hands away so he could wipe off his face. They both spoke softly words of reassurance.

     Kyungsoo had felt doubt before. But the feeling that overwhelmed him now was certainty. He didn’t want to keep going. He wanted to stop. He just wanted to enjoy the new life he was building. He just wanted Sehun, Jongdae, and Chanyeol to stay with him. What if he did something stupid and lost them? He was terrified of that. He felt guilty, unbearably so, for so desperately wanting to give up. But he couldn’t stop the feeling from growing. His phone buzzed. He wanted to ignore it, but somehow, he couldn’t. He wiped his eyes and pulled it out.

 

_\- Kim Jongin -_

_I’m so sorry._

_I’ll tell you everything._


	21. Listen to Me

_I’m so sorry._

 

   Kyungsoo stared at the message blankly, unable to register it. It didn’t make any sense. Why was he apologizing now? It wasn’t until he let out a small gasp that Kyungsoo realized Sehun had been looking at his phone. He loosened his arms from around Kyungsoo slightly and smiled at him.

“Oh, this is great!” He said.

“What is?” Jongdae grabbed the phone from Kyungsoo’s hand. “Oh!”

“I’m not going,” Kyungsoo said muttered, eyes glazed over.

“What? Why?” Sehun asked, smile dropping.

“I-I don’t want to investigate anymore,” Kyungsoo said. “It’s n-not safe. I could l-lose y-”

“What are you talking about?” Jongdae pulled Kyungsoo out of Sehun’s arms so they faced each other. “This isn’t like you. I’ve never met anyone more dedicated to anything than you were to finding answers.”

“It was childish of me to think I could ever find out what really happened. Besides, Jongin was just beating the crap out of me a few hours ago. Why should I trust him?” Kyungsoo said.

   There was no confidence in Kyungsoo’s voice. The words that still shone up from his screen were quickly burrowing into his mind. But all he could think about was the feeling that had just escaped him. The clarity and security he had felt in the moment before his phone buzzed. When it seemed like maybe he could forget everything that had happened to him. Maybe he could pretend it had all been a dream. Maybe, he could’ve been happy with his friends. And yet there he was, feeling the fire being reignited. Once again being overcome with burning desire and dissatisfaction. He hated it. And even more than that, he hated that Jongin had been the one to make him feel it.

    A hand smacked across the back of his head. Kyungsoo let out a small cry of pain and leaned forward, holding his head. He turned to see Sehun looking uncharacteristically furious.

“Childish? Justice is childish? Don’t give me that,” Sehun spat. “Kyungsoo this isn’t you. This is selfish. This is cowardly. _This_ is childish.”

“You don’t know-” Kyungsoo stared.

“No, actually we know exactly what we’re talking about,” Jongdae said, almost melancholically. “Because we’ve finally done what you’ve been trying to do this entire time. We found peace.”

“We talked to Dad.” Sehun smiled softly at his brother. “And we understand now. He explained it all.”

“He told you…” Kyungsoo looked between the two of them.

“Yeah,” Jongdae looked away. “He told us everything. From day one.”

 

 

       _The silence in the small room was only broken by the rhythmic beep of the heart monitor. Junmyeon stood at the beside of the woman he loved. But she looked nothing like he remembered. Her once vibrant smiling self was now frail and almost faded. He let out a shaky sigh. He didn’t have enough time. It had come so suddenly. It was moving along too quickly. But the treatments would work. Soon they would begin to work. All he need was to get the money. He just needed a loan. Someone would be willing to look past all of the little details and give him a loan. Then she would smile at him again. Then his sons would play like they used to. Then things would go back to normal._

_A small figure stepped into the room. “You’re here?”_

_“Oh, Jongdae,” Junmyeon looked over at his son. “Why aren’t you at school? Where’s your brother?”_

_“I ditched.” Jongdae walked over to the bed. “Sehun didn’t want to. Why are you suddenly pretending to care?”_

_The words stung more than perhaps the boy intended them to. Junmyeon chose to ignore them. It had been a long time since he had been in that room. Each and every sleepless night spent working proved less and less valuable. But there was no choice. Even if Jongdae hated him now, soon his mother would be well, and things would be okay again. Soon._

_Jongdae sat motionless in the grass, staring ahead blankly. Sehun stood beside him, shaking with every sob. All Junmyeon could do was watch them. He couldn’t even move to comfort them. He knew as soon as he wrapped his arms around them, he would break. The coffin lowered slowly in front of the lone trio._

_The message was clear as day. Junmyeon folded his hands-on top of his desk, desperately trying to stop them from trembling. Those horrid men would never give him time. He didn’t have time. Why, even in his desperation, had he turned to them? He could never pay them back. The door to his office creaked open. A small pair of eyes peered in._

_“Sehun,” Junmyeon said, softly. “Why are you still awake?”_

_Sehun smiled sheepishly before running over to his father. “I miss you Daddy.”_

_“I’m sorry Daddy’s been so busy lately.” Junmyeon pulled his precious child onto his lap._

_“No,” Sehun leaned against him. “I miss when you were you. When you were happy Daddy. You only pretend to be happy now. It’s because Mommy is gone isn’t it?”_

_Junmyeon couldn’t respond. He wrapped his arms tightly around Sehun. He broke down into tears. Sehun listened to his father’s soft sobs quietly. Junmyeon swore to himself, he would never let them take his sons. No matter what._

_Somehow, Junmyeon was almost proud of Jongdae for figuring out what he was doing. For seeing what even the adults around Junmyeon couldn’t. The shady things Junmyeon let slip under the radar just so those men would give him time. He knew as soon as he wasn’t useful to them anymore, his time would be up. But as Jongdae screamed at him, told him he hated him, Junmyeon only felt betrayed. He wasn’t listening. Jongdae never listened. If he could only explain, then it would all be okay. But the more Jongdae fired hate at him the less willing to talk Junmyeon became._

_Junmyeon’s heart pounded in his ears. He looked up and down the hallway. Where were they? Where had they wandered off to? He was certain he heard gunshots. Why did he let them out of his sight? It had been so long since the collectors had spoken to him he went soft. It was stupid. Surely, it meant he lost his purpose. They were going to kill them. They were going to kill his sons. He couldn’t bear to lose them. He couldn’t bear the thought of Jongdae dying while still hating him._

_Desperation lead Junmyeon to the front of the school. He threw the doors open. There they stood, looking up at him, completely fine. They were alive, and Junmyeon intended to keep it that way. Someone else was shot. Was it a student? A teacher? Either way it might mean the school would go under. No, it couldn’t happen that way. Junmyeon started towards the police officers. He needed to use this to his advantage._

“I was never open to hearing my father out,” Jongdae said. “All I did was blame him for my mother’s death, for not being there. All I did was despise him for allowing the crime around us.”

“All they did was fight Kyungsoo.” Sehun shook his head. “They weren’t even willing to open up to me. I didn’t know anything. And do you know what it brought all of us? Sorrow, resentment, and pain. But now we understand.”

Jongdae made Kyungsoo face him once again. “When they’re willing to talk, you have to be willing to listen. Otherwise, you’ll never find peace.”

     Kyungsoo’s eyes dropped to the floor. Yes, that momentary clarity was long gone. But Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if it was really that satisfying to begin with. He stood up from the couch. No more going back and forth, he was ending it. He would just have to accept whatever losses came with it.

 

 

   Jongin sat hunched over on the small bench, his back to Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo tried to find it in himself to approach. It wasn’t until Jongin turned, no doubt feeling eyes on him, that he finally walked over. For a while neither of them said anything. The concrete plaza the two of them now sat in served as the entrance to a mostly empty park. The overgrown trees and hills that surrounded them was certainly decent scenery; at least, enough to calm Kyungsoo’s rapid thoughts. Eventually, Jongin straightened up to look Kyungsoo in the eye. He grimaced a little as he looked over how badly he had hurt Kyungsoo.

“A-are you… alright?” He asked.

Kyungsoo looked away. “No. But not because you punched me.”

     Once again, Jongin winced. There was guilt coloring every part of his face. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“It’s still because of me though.” He sighed. “Enough stalling. I said I would tell you everything and I intend to.”

“Why?” Kyungsoo asked. “Why are you suddenly willing to tell me.”

Jongin eyes remained forward. “I thought I would take it to my grave. But the longer I kept my mouth shut the more guilt I felt. The more I tried to hide it, the worse of a person I became. When you left earlier today, for a brief moment, I considered killing you. I just wanted you to leave me alone. I-I’ve never been so afraid of myself before.”

“I don’t understand,” Kyungsoo said. “What on earth could you possibly want to hide so much you’d want to kill someone?”

“Your deepest, darkest secret. The part of yourself you _never_ want anyone to see.” Jongin faced Kyungsoo once again. “I loved your sister, more than anything. But she loved **_you_** , Kyungsoo, more than anything… more than me. You hated me, and I hated you. She would always say that one day we would get over our differences and come to like each other. But that just wasn’t happening. That day I told her as much. For the first time in our relationship, we fought. Like a child, I told her she had to choose, me or you. There was no way we could possibly get along. She chose you. And so, I ran away and broke down in the bathroom. I thought I needed her, that she completed me. She meant everything to me. I had no one else...”

    Jongin trailed off. His fists were clenched tightly, and he closed his eyes. The selfish part of Kyungsoo that had hated him for so many years wanted to smile. His sister had chosen him. He had won, hadn’t he? But he felt no real satisfaction. Tears trailed down Jongin’s face. All Kyungsoo could think was what his sister would say.

“Don’t cry,” Kyungsoo said, softly. “Hold on a little longer.”

    Jongin opened his eyes, mouth slightly open. He looked at Kyungsoo with an unreadable look on his face. For a moment, Jongin’s expression softened.

“You look a lot like her you know,” He almost whispered.

“Like her?” Kyungsoo couldn’t fathom being compared to someone as beautiful as his sister.

“She was right,” Jongin looked away again, warm expression fading. “As always. I had no real reason to hate you. I had no reason to do what I did, to condemn you to this life.”

“Condemn me?” Kyungsoo asked.

“I saw the killer,” Jongin’s eyes closed.

Kyungsoo’s heart stopped. “What?”

“When I heard those gunshots, I headed right for the door. It was so close.” Jongin said, clenching his fists again. “I was too afraid to even leave. I looked up and down the hall. I saw someone come out of a classroom with a gun in his hand. I didn’t recognize them, but I could see his face clear as day. He didn’t look like a killer. I ducked back in. I-I could barely breath I was so afraid. I was certain he had seen me. I waited in there for so long. But no one came in. I heard voices coming from the classroom. I couldn’t see anyone, so I took the opportunity to run.”

“W-why?” Kyungsoo stared at him in disbelief. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

Jongin looked at Kyungsoo with weary eyes. “I hated you. I thought you were stealing the one person I loved most. I wanted you out of my life more than anything. I wished for it every night. So, when they dragged you out of that building and started investigating you… it was like a dream come true. Awful, wasn’t it? I knew it was wrong, but I was too selfish to care. Your sister needed comfort and I was there to give it. Until… your father… I didn’t know he was so unstable.”

“To him,” Kyungsoo’s voice trembled. “Family was everything. We were a unit. The wellness of one family member was the wellness of another. Our reputation and happiness were collective. When he heard that the verdict was guilty, I can’t even imagine how it must’ve broken him. In his mind, we were ruined. There was no hope. He thought for sure, I would be in prison for life. To him, there was only one way out.”

“I didn’t know he would kill them, kill her.” Jongin stifled a sob. “It was all pointless, all of it. And it was all my fault. It was all my fault. So, like the coward I am, I promised myself I would take what I saw to my grave.”

Kyungsoo grabbed Jongin’s shoulders. “It wasn’t your fault, not all of it. You did an inconceivably cruel thing, one that I may never forgive you for, but the blame lies squarely with one person: the person you saw.”

“Please,” Jongin said. “Tell me how to help catch them.”

    Shakily, Kyungsoo reached his hand into his coat pocket. He pulled out a picture. A group of highschool students smiled up at the two of them, unaware of the pain ahead of them. Jongin’s eyes grew wide. His hand extended slowly, landing on a single boy’s chest.

“I-It’s _him_.”


	22. You are Found

     Each step Kyungsoo took was more uncertain than the last. As the street seemed to weave back and forth in front of him, his body threatened to fall. The sky had grown dark long ago, clouding his already dark vision. The street lights were distant and cold, providing neither sufficient light nor comfort. Kyungsoo still held the photo delicately in his hand, as though it were a precious treasure.

     He was terrified. The look on Jongin’s face when he had seen the photo was enough to freeze Kyungsoo’s very soul. He wasn’t lying. Kyungsoo needed help. As he neared his apartment building he prayed that they were still there. His eyes landed on a small group of people in the distance. At first, he felt a wave of relief. But then his eyes landed on _him_. Kyungsoo froze. Chanyeol, Sehun, and Jongdae stood in front of his building talking to Baekhyun. Kyungsoo’s mind raced. He wasn’t supposed to be here. Why had that disgusting monster come back? No, it didn’t matter. In fact, this was good.

Jongdae’s eyes met Kyungsoo’s and he smiled softly. “Hey, Kyungsoo!”

    The three other pairs of eyes turned to see Kyungsoo. Sehun and Chanyeol matched Jongdae in smiling and waving him over. The almost heartwarming scene made Kyungsoo sick to his stomach. He knew he was going to lose it again. He had actually thought he could be happy. But Kyungsoo had spent the last seven years feeling sorry for himself. Now was the time to act. It didn’t matter what the consequences were.

      Kyungsoo broke into a run. As he drew closer, Baekhyun shrunk back, moving to almost hide behind Chanyeol. Kyungsoo ran even faster, adrenaline pushing aside every thought but one. _It’s all **his** fault._

“You bastard!” Kyungsoo screamed, pushing Chanyeol away from Baekhyun so forcefully that he slammed into Jongdae.

“K-Kyungsoo!” Sehun grabbed onto his arm in an attempt to stop him.

“Let go!” Kyungsoo tried to pull away. “I’ll kill him!”

“Kyungsoo, please!” Sehun slammed him against the outer wall of the building. “Please, just hear him out. He came all this way to talk to you. You spoke to Jongin, didn’t you? Can’t you speak to Baekhyun too? Nothing good will come of hating him. He just-”

“I just want forgiveness!” Baekhyun said, trembling as he stepped forward. “Please, forgive me.”

“No, you don’t understand!” Kyungsoo finally managed to push Sehun off of him. “It’s him! He killed them.”

      Kyungsoo pointed, tears of anger and grief threatening to fall from his eyes. Everyone froze. Baekhyun stumbled backwards. All of their eyes turned to Chanyeol.

“What?” Chanyeol’s eyes were wide with shock. “Kyungsoo, what are you-”

“Don’t patronize me,” Kyungsoo spat at him. “Do you think I’m stupid? That if you act surprised I’ll throw away all my doubts? Don’t try to pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Jongin saw you, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol’s expression faded from shock to betrayal. “So, you believe him over me?”

    Kyungsoo’s determination faltered for a moment. Desperately, he wanted to believe Chanyeol. He wanted his friend back. But there was something colder about Chanyeol’s expression. It was the sort of coldness he had never seen on Chanyeol before… or at least, not for a long, long time. The darkness that crept across his friend’s face brought up memories Kyungsoo had buried long ago.

 

 

_“What’s wrong with it?”_

_“It’s dead. I killed it.”_

_“Dead?”_

_“Yeah. It won’t move anymore. Isn’t that cool, Kyungsoo?”_

 

“Kyungsoo, you shouldn’t jump-” Sehun started.

“I’m not jumping to anything.” Kyungsoo straightened up. “This isn’t anything new. Even when we were kids you…”

Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head slowly. “Are you certain you want to go down this path?”

“I want the truth,” Kyungsoo said. “I want peace.”

“Well, sometimes,” Chanyeol stuck his hands into his coat pockets. “You can’t have both.”

     Jongdae’s eyes grew wide. As Chanyeol pulled his hand back out of his pocket, Jongdae jumped forward, trying to stop him. It was only then that the others could see the pocket knife Chanyeol was clutching.

“Chanyeol, stop!” Jongdae tried to wrestle the knife away. “What do you think you’re-”

     Chanyeol pushed Jongdae off of him with ease, cutting a gash into his arm in the process. Sehun cried out and ran to catch his brother. Rage boiled up inside of Kyungsoo. He was doing it again, he was hurting his friends. Kyungsoo balled his fists but he couldn’t take more than a step towards Chanyeol before stopping. Chanyeol grabbed Baekhyun from behind, holding the knife up to his throat.

“C-Chanyeol…” Baekhyun whimpered, face going pale.

“For once in your life,” Chanyeol started to back up, pulling Baekhyun with him. “listen to me, Kyungsoo. Don’t try anything. You’ll only end up getting yourself or someone else hurt again. If you won’t let it go, forget about me.”

    Chanyeol and Baekhyun disappeared around the corner of the building. Kyungsoo watched the darkness envelope them. Sadness, fear, pity, empathy, all of those emotions were clouded by wrath. All Kyungsoo could feel was rage. He was going to stop Chanyeol, make him pay. Kyungsoo started after them.

“No, wait!” Sehun dove after him, wrapping his arms around Kyungsoo’s legs in a desperate attempt to stop him. “Don’t! It’s not safe. W-we have to call the police. And you have to help me! J-Jongdae is hurt.”

“Let go of me.” Kyungsoo didn’t look down at him.

“Kyungsoo,” Jongdae said, breathing heavily. “Killing him won’t change anything. It will just turn you into the monster everyone has been saying you are.”

“Let. **Go**.” Kyungsoo growled, turn a fierce gaze onto Sehun.

    Sehun shrunk back, still on his knees. For the first time since the two of them had met, Sehun looked afraid of Kyungsoo. Without a second thought, Kyungsoo took off, rounding the corner into darkness.

   Only a few yards away, sitting hunched over, was Baekhyun. The knife lay a few feet in front of him, coated in blood. Kyungsoo stopped next to him but Baekhyun didn’t even look up. He was draped in shadows. All Kyungsoo could do was look at him. Baekhyun’s hand shot up, grabbing onto Kyungsoo’s pant leg. His hand was bleeding profusely.

“Was it really him?” Baekhyun still didn’t lift his head.

“It was,” Kyungsoo said, coldly. “Where did he go?”

    Baekhyun’s hand dropped to the ground. He didn’t answer. Kyungsoo didn’t have time to wait. He broke into a sprint. He reached the main road and desperately looked up and down both sides. Chanyeol was long gone. Surely, he couldn’t just disappear. He had a life here, people and possessions. Still, a part of Kyungsoo wondered if any of those really mattered to him. But there was one person Kyungsoo was certain he had to care for.

 

 

       Kyungsoo’s fist slammed into the door repeatedly. He had to be in there. And even if he wasn’t, the answer as to where he was would be. But the other side remained silent. Kyungsoo tried the doorknob and to his surprise, it opened. He stepped in uncertainly, looking around the small apartment. It was different from the last time he was there. It was dark and gloomy. The air was distinctly musty. Kyungsoo’s eyes landed on the old woman slouched in her chair, staring off into space. As he approached, she finally seemed to recognize there was someone else in the room.

“Chanyeol?” She sat up, excited expression dropping when she saw who it was. “Oh, Kyungsoo. Is Chanyeol with you?”

“No,” Kyungsoo glanced behind himself. “Did he say he was coming?”

“He must still be at school,” She muttered to herself, ignoring his question.

“Why didn’t you answer my knocks?” Kyungsoo asked. “And why was your front door unlocked?”

“The front door is unlocked?” She sighed and rubbed her head. “Darling won’t be happy about that. He’s always so strict about things like that.”

    Kyungsoo looked around the room. There was no sigh that anyone else was here. Kyungsoo didn’t know much about Chanyeol’s father or where he was, but he certainly wasn’t here. In fact, there were no pictures of him anywhere. There were no pictures at all in fact, not even any of Chanyeol. All the frames had paintings or illustrations in them.

“Where is your husband?” Kyungsoo returned his attention to her.

“My husband? Well, he must be working late or…” She stopped, expression becoming more focused and clear. “No. No, he’s not working, is he? I’ve lost him, haven’t I? It’s been so long. How could I forget?”

“He’s dead?” Kyungsoo bent down next to her.

“I don’t know. He just disappeared.” Chanyeol’s mother faced Kyungsoo, eyes deep and sincere. “He would never leave us. Sometime must have happened. He even left all of his things here.”

     She gestured towards one of the bedrooms. Kyungsoo stood up. Something wasn’t right. He slowly walked into the bedroom. It was absolutely cluttered, a complete wreck compared to the rest of the house. Kyungsoo made his way around the room carefully. He searched the closet and drawers. There was certainly still a lot of evidence of her husband. His clothes, his uniform, his watch, and many other small items. It was strange, but there was nothing particularly of interest.

     Kyungsoo dropped onto his knees, peering under the bed. It was completely cleared out except for one cardboard box. Kyungsoo pulled it out. It was surprisingly heavy. Cautiously, he lifted the lid off. A small notepad and something wrapped in a cloth were its only contents. Kyungsoo picked the object up and begun to unwrap it, heart beginning to speed up. It was a gun, an immaculately clean gun. There wasn’t a speck of dirt on its smooth surface. Kyungsoo immediately placed it back into the box.

      He picked up the small notebook instead, flipping through its pages. It seemed to be Chanyeol’s father’s notebook. Most of the pages seemed to be nothing more than descriptions of crimes or his suspicions and theories. But one page made Kyungsoo stop.

 

                                             _WHY_

Unlike the others, the page wasn’t dated. All it had was that single word. Kyungsoo turned the page, dread beginning to pile up within him. Page after page was nothing but incoherent ramblings written with such poor handwriting Kyungsoo couldn’t even begin to decipher most of it. But there were phrases that appeared again and again that Kyungsoo could read perfectly well.

 

             _I TRIED SO HARD TO FIX HIM…_

_…IT WILL ALL BE OVER…_

_…I HAVE TO HIDE IT…_

_…IT HAS TO BE PERFECTLY CLEAN…_

_…THOSE BULLETS WILL NEVER BE LINKED…_

_…WHY…_

_…WHY DID HE KILL THEM?_

     Kyungsoo stood up, placing the notebook back into the box. There was no more doubt. He walked back into the living room. The old woman’s eyes grew wide when she saw the box that he was carrying.

“Oh, you can’t touch that!” She cried. “You have to put that back. He told me never to touch it!”

“I’m sorry Ma’am.” Kyungsoo bowed slightly. “Do you know where Chanyeol is?”

“How would I know where that brat is?” She screamed. “You have to put that back right away! Put it back!”

     Kyungsoo ignored her, heading straight for the door. He stepped out, making sure to lock the door behind him. She was still calling after him. His phone buzzed. Kyungsoo pulled it out, almost wanting to smile as he read the message.

 

_\- Chanyeol-ah -_

_The school._

 

 

      The uncomfortably familiar building loomed over Kyungsoo as he approached. The bricks that built it ever faded and the memories that haunted it ever vivid. Kyungsoo had climbed those steps a thousand times, run through those halls daily, stepped out into that courtyard on countless occasions. But today, he did all of those things with a completely different emotion from his youthful joy of days long past. Out in the center of the field of dirt, stood Chanyeol. His eyes were locked on the distant third floor. Kyungsoo felt the previously numbed rage begin to build again. Why was he so calm? The twinge of guilt and sadness, that painted so many killers' eyes, just wasn't there. Kyungsoo stalked across the field towards him.

 “Don’t you feel sorry at all?” He called.

Chanyeol’s eyes met Kyungsoo’s, an ocean of darkness. “Why should I be sorry for protecting myself?”

“Protecting yourself?” Kyungsoo scoffed.

“You’re awfully angry for someone who doesn’t know what they’re talking about, aren’t you?” Chanyeol said.

“I don’t know what I’m talking about?” Kyungsoo pulled the pristine gun out of his pocket. “Oh, really? Enlighten me then.”

    For a moment, Chanyeol looked surprised. But that moment passed quickly. Instead, he gave Kyungsoo a vaguely disappointed look. Kyungsoo raised the gun but Chanyeol seemed no more intimidated staring death in the face.

“Are you a child?” He asked.

    Before Kyungsoo could respond, Chanyeol reached behind himself and began to pull something out. The action was fast, faster than Kyungsoo could process it. So, on pure instinct alone, he pulled the trigger. To his and Chanyeol’s surprise, the gun went off. A boom echoed across the field. The rebound was enough to knock Kyungsoo off his balance. Terror struck Kyungsoo’s heart as he saw blood begin to drip onto the soil. But something else had fallen to the ground, a gun. Chanyeol struggled to stifle a cry of pain. The bullet had grazed his arm but nothing more. Chanyeol immediately tried to go for his gun again. Kyungsoo raised his arm again.

“Don’t!” He screamed and Chanyeol froze. “Touch that gun and I’ll shoot again. Kick it away.”

      Chanyeol studied Kyungsoo’s face for a few moments. Reluctantly, he kicked the gun away. It skittered several feet behind Kyungsoo. His heart was beating in his ears. If his aim was a little better, Chanyeol would be dead. Kyungsoo almost killed him. He had wanted to, intended to. He still could. An unsettling feeling rose in his chest. Chanyeol watched the fire in his eyes go out in an instant. His expression softened, turning to appeal.

"You didn't know me, Kyungsoo.” He said. “No one knew me. I preferred it that way. It was safe. But I guess, it was too much to ask to be safe."

“You’re right,” Kyungsoo said weakly. “I didn’t know you at all. But… I trusted you.”

“Then you’re an idiot,” Chanyeol said.  “You said it yourself.”

“Why?” Kyungsoo began to tremble. “Why did you kill them?”

“He saw me.” Chanyeol looked back at the third floor. “One of them saw me. No one was supposed to see. No one was supposed to know. That’s what Father told me. He beat it into me. After what you saw, he made sure I didn’t forget that.”

“What could they possibly have seen to deserve to die?” Kyungsoo asked.

“He saw me killing,” Chanyeol said, lifelessly. “I used to kill birds. But that day, it wasn’t enough. So, I killed a dog. That boy saw me, and he started to scream at me. He said he would tell everyone. I tried to explain but he wouldn’t listen. I only wanted to see what would happen. I only wanted to watch it transition into death. I was just curious. But he only backed down when I threatened him. Then I understood.” Chanyeol looked straight into Kyungsoo’s eyes. “He was friends with you. I didn’t think you remembered what happened when we were young, but you never seemed comfortable with me. You must’ve said something to them. You all must’ve been out to destroy me. I was certain of it. Every day after that, I was paranoid. I knew one of those days, he would make good on his promise and tell everyone.”

“That’s insane!” Kyungsoo could barely process what he was saying. “Why would we want to destroy you?”

“Is it? Don’t you see me as a monster?” Chanyeol gestured at the gun in Kyungsoo hand.

“You are!” Kyungsoo screamed. “You killed like it was nothing.”

“It wasn’t nothing,” Chanyeol said. “Sure, it was easy taking the gun from my father. It was easy finding a reason to stay after school. But killing them wasn’t easy at all. I threw the door open and shot one of them in the head. But there was something different about watching him die, something I didn’t see when I killed animals. It scared me. But I had to keep going. I shot the second one but the third one moved before I could get a clean headshot. I didn’t kill him. It was only then that I realized you weren’t there. I wanted to kill you too. But you were gone. I knew you would be coming back so I panicked. I ran out of the room and hid in the classroom across the hall.”

“You coward.” Kyungsoo muttered.

Chanyeol ignored him. “When you showed up, I was going to kill you… but I couldn’t. It was unpleasant, seeing you like that. But you were dangerous, so I still needed to get rid of you.”

“So, you framed me?” Kyungsoo asked, utterly repulsed.

“It wasn’t hard.” Chanyeol shrugged. “You took the gun easily enough. Then it was only a matter of killing the other witness and playing my part well. And, sure enough, it worked. But after my father found out, he was driven mad by it. He was certain he had changed me. It was silly of him, really. He only made me better at hiding it. Still, in the end, I thought things turned out pretty well.”

“You’re disgusting.” Kyungsoo said. “Pretty well?”

Chanyeol tilted his head. “Are you still angry? Don’t you see, I-”

“You think that sad excuse would make me forgive you?” Kyungsoo screamed, stepping forward. “I’m going to destroy you!”

“Oh, really?” Chanyeol smiled. “Are you going to kill me? No? Tell on me? No one will believe you. My father was a respected police officer. It’s been years.” Chanyeol’s smile faltered. “Besides, I’m different now. I just want to pursue my music career. You know, I’ve tried so hard to control myself. I’ve never killed anyone else. Can’t you just let it go? It was only three deaths.”                

“Only three deaths?” Kyungsoo shook with anger. “Those three people were my friends! My only friends! And if it wasn’t for you… my father wouldn’t have killed my mother and sister. I wouldn’t have lost my childhood in jail. Sehun, Jongdae, Jongin, Minseok, Baekhyun, and Yixing wouldn’t have been traumatized. Don’t you see all the damage you’ve done?”

“Damage?” Chanyeol scoffed. “Then shoot me. If I’m really so bad, shoot me. Get revenge for all the ‘damage’ I’ve done. You can’t, can you? Oh, Kyungsoo, surely, you’ve learned by now… you can’t trust anyone, not even yourself. I’m really not so evil. You shouldn’t blame me for all the bad things in your life. It’s not my fault.”

       Kyungsoo’s finger hovered over the trigger, desperate to pull it. But one thought held him back. _I don’t want to be a monster._

“No? Come on, then. Give me the gun.” Chanyeol stepped towards him. Kyungsoo stepped back. Chanyeol took on a firmer expression. “Give me the gun Kyungsoo. I know you won’t do it. We’re friends, aren’t we? You don’t need those three, you never did. Come on.”

         Kyungsoo’s finger only grew closer to the trigger. Every word out of his disgusting mouth drew him closer and closer to pulling it. Fear pooled in his heart. Maybe he was as bad as him. Chanyeol saw this on his face.

“I’m not evil. **We’re** not evil, right?” Chanyeol stepped closer. “It was only three deaths. They don’t matter. It was only thr-”

        The sound of a gunshot echoed across the field. Kyungsoo stumbled backwards, losing his balance and falling. Chanyeol’s eyes grew wide, blood soaking its way through his shirt. His legs gave out and he fell onto the ground, motionless. A gun clattered onto the dirt beside Kyungsoo.

“B-Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo stuttered, eyes wide.

        Baekhyun fell to his knees, eyes still trained on Chanyeol. He was trembling uncontrollably. He grasped the gun again slowly.

“I’ll kill you,” He muttered under his breath, tears beginning to fall. “I’ll kill you. ‘Not evil’? You took my friend away from me. You played me for a fool, acted like my friend! **I’ll kill you!** ”

         Baekhyun raised the gun again. Kyungsoo grabbed onto his hand, forcing it back down. Baekhyun started to sob hysterically. Kyungsoo looked across the field. Chanyeol’s chest was rising slowly. He was still alive, for now. Kyungsoo took the gun from Baekhyun’s hand gently. He stood up. Before he could move, a terrified voice called to him. Sehun burst out of the school, running over to them.

“Kyungsoo, Baekhyun! Are you-” His eyes landed on Chanyeol. “Oh my g… I-is he…”

 “He’s not dead.” Kyungsoo said, looking around. “Where’s Jongdae?”

“A-ambulance.” Sehun stuttered, eyes still locked on Chanyeol. “I called the police.”

“Are they coming here?” Kyungsoo asked and Sehun nodded. “How did you know where we were?”

     Sehun pulled out his phone, revealing a similar text from Chanyeol. Kyungsoo sighed. Still, somehow, he wasn’t afraid of what he knew was about to happen. Sehun bent down next to Baekhyun who was still sobbing.

“Calm down,” Sehun said softly. “It’s okay, you just need to calm down.”

“I-I can’t.” Baekhyun grabbed Sehun’s arm. “Sehun, I sh-”

“He shouldn’t have come here,” Kyungsoo interrupted him. “He had to watch me shoot Chanyeol.”

      Baekhyun stared up at Kyungsoo in confusion. Kyungsoo wasn’t afraid but Baekhyun was terrified. Kyungsoo had nothing more to lose but Baekhyun had a family, a life. Sehun looked between the two of them. A heartbroken expression crossed his face. He didn’t believe Kyungsoo, but he understood. He stood and ran over to Chanyeol.

“I-It’s alright.” Sehun said, beginning to try and slow the bleeding. “I won’t let him die. You won’t be a murderer.”

     Kyungsoo looked up at the clear night sky. He felt himself let go. Tears rolled down his cheeks. All of the pain, anger, and guilt… he just felt it melt away. It was over now. He did it. He found the truth. And as he watched Sehun work, as he felt Baekhyun wrap his arms around him, as the police arrived, Jongdae following behind, and began to drag him away, as Jongdae argued with them and promised to get Kyungsoo the best lawyer there was, as Kyungsoo watched Chanyeol’s defense begin to crumble, as Kyungsoo watched Sehun and Jongdae and Baekhyun laugh and make jokes with him, at last

                                                                                         _he found peace_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End!  
> I hope you've enjoyed. Thank you for reading!


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